


See No Evil

by Susangel, zeppx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationship, All Human, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blindness, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Musicians, Past Relationship(s), Piano, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susangel/pseuds/Susangel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeppx/pseuds/zeppx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Human AU, Dean's life is about as normal as can be, he has his job and his brother and is perfectly happy. Then Cas, a blind pianist, enters his life and everything gets turned upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So...this is a collab with Zeppx! Literally written together at the same time and everything since Google Docs is the most amazing thing in the history of ever. 
> 
> This will be part of a little trilogy of fics we've decided to work on, so after this one there will be a story featuring a deaf!Cas and then after that one a mute!Cas. They'll all have similar titles but won't be related in plot, just something to do with the loss of a sense. So that's what you can expect in this fic.  
> Along with some Destiel too of course.
> 
> So, anyway! Zeppx and I have written this together, she did...well...pretty much all of the descriptions, so none of this would be possible without her.
> 
> Also, this is our artistic license. We know nothing about Juilliard and it's workings and barely know anything about the blind besides what we've googled. So just...go with it.  
> ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dean sighed, glanced down at his watch and resisted the urge to tap his foot impatiently. He'd sent Sam up to the counter to get their coffees but somewhere along the line Sam had gotten either lost or distracted.

Dean sighed again and sat himself down at one of the few tables available in the small coffee shop; there was no way he'd be getting back to the station in the next ten minutes at this rate. Dean was lost in his thoughts when someone bumped into his table, hands searching for the chair before pulling it out.

Dean cleared his throat, "Hey, some one's sitting here already dude."

A pause, then, "Oh. Sorry, I'm just..."

"What? Blind?" Dean snapped, glaring up at the guy. He had a moment to realize he'd just made a mistake, judging by the way those blue eyes weren't entirely focused on Dean, a long white cane held in front of the stranger.

"Yes, actually." And Dean suddenly felt like the world's biggest asshole.

Sam chose that moment to finally appear with their coffees, "Dean...what's going on?"

_Sticking my foot in my mouth,_ Dean thought.

"There you are Cas!"

'Cas' turned towards the voice calling at him from the door, Dean had a moment to think _holy shit there are two of them_ before Sam was turning his giant puppy dog eyes on Dean and asking again, "What's going on Dean?"

"Uh..." Dean honestly had no idea what to say. He thought that saying _just made fun of a blind man_ wouldn't go over well with Sammy.

Dean blinked, shot up out of his chair, "Here! You can sit."

The new arrival was staring at Dean, closer to glaring, as his twin shifted uncomfortably where he stood, white cane clutched in his hands.

"Jimmy maybe we should just go?" Cas turned his head in the general direction of Jimmy, shifting on his feet again.

"No, we can stay. You need some coffee in you anyway. Um..." Jimmy looked around, probably noticing there were no more empty tables in the coffee shop. Sam, ever the peacemaker said, "We can share? The table is big enough."

"Sure, sounds good. Cas, why don't you sit, I'll get our drinks." Cas nodded and slowly sat down in the chair across from Dean who slowly sank back down into his own, Sam taking the chair on Dean's right. The three sat in awkward silence for a moment before Cas stuck his hand out, "Castiel Novak. That's my brother, Jimmy."

Dean shifted enough in his chair so he could grasp Cas' hand without it being at an awkward angle, "Dean Winchester. This is my brother Sam."

"Pleasure to meet you. And thank you for letting us share your table."

"No problem, least we could do." Cas nodded and fidgeted with the white cane clutched in his hands, thankfully Jimmy chose that moment to return before things could get any more awkward. Dean had no idea how to interact with a blind person, had no experience to draw on.

"Here's your coffee Cas, right in front of you." Cas nodded, let his right hand inch along the surface of the table before his fingers bumped into the cup, he grasped it and was about to take a sip when Jimmy asked, "Where's Faith?"

"I left her outside." Dean shared a look with Sam, who shrugged, not like he knew what the hell the two were talking about.

"What? Why?"

Cas sighed and muttered, "Last time we brought her in the owner complained. I don't want any trouble this time Jimmy, she's fine outside."

"That's bullshit Cas. She might be fine, but you won't be. She's a _service dog_ she's allowed to be in here whether he likes it or not. He's just an asshole is all." With that, Jimmy turned and headed for the door, ignoring Cas' protests. Cas sank back into his chair with a sigh as Jimmy reentered the coffee shop with a black dog in tow, the dog immediately pulled away from Jimmy and moved to Cas' side, nudging his hand with her nose.

Cas rested his hand on the dog's head, "This is Faith." Dean smiled, leaning forward with the intention of asking if it was all right to pet her when a voice shouted from behind them, "Hey! I don't allow dogs in here!"

Cas sighed and muttered, "This is what I wanted to avoid."

"Suck it up, he's just an asshole." Jimmy growled, glaring at what Dean suspected to be the owner.

"She's a service animal, she's allowed in here." Jimmy said as the man came to a stop by their table, glaring at Cas and Faith.

"I don't care if she's a service animal or not! She's an animal, period. And I want her out of here!"

Sam set his cup down, crossed his arms and got that look on his face that said he was about to lay down a verbal smack down, "You do realize that the law requires you to allow service animals into your establishment? Whether you have a "no pets" policy or not, service animals are allowed into privately owned establishments since they are not recognized as "pets". You would be discriminating against a handicapped person and according to the _law_ he would be able to sue you for this."

Dean hid his smile behind his coffee cup while Jimmy simply gaped at him and Cas lowered his head, hiding his own smile.

The owner sputtered for a moment and Dean looked up at him, "If you're going to cause trouble I can always take you down to the police station. Where I work. I'm sure people would _love_ to hear how you kicked a blind man out of your establishment. Would do wonders for your business I imagine."

With a huff, the owner turned and disappeared into the back. Jimmy grinned over at the two of them and Sam muttered sheepishly to Cas, "Sorry for calling you-"

Cas waved his hand dismissively, "I'm used to it. Don't worry yourself. And you didn't say anything that wasn't true anyway."

"Cas, don't say that!"

"Well, I'm certainly not fully functional, am I?" As if to prove his point Cas' gaze was a little off from where Jimmy was seated, focusing at some point over his left shoulder.

At Jimmy's guilty look Cas snapped, "Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Jimmy. I'm blind, not an idiot...I might not be able to see you, but I know you like the back of my hand, so just stop it okay?"

"Sorry Cas..." Dean looked over to Sam who shrugged, sipped his coffee and pretended not to listen to the conversation going on across the table from them.

"How about you pay the bill and we call it even?" Cas muttered after a moment of tense silence.

Taking it for the peace offering it was Jimmy sighed, "Sure Cas, but you're paying next time." Cas smirked into his drink, "We'll see."

Jimmy stood up from the table, grumbled, "You need to stop talking with Gabriel." He disappeared to pay for everything and the three of them were left in their awkward silence.

Cas cleared his throat a moment later and asked, "So, you're a lawyer Sam?"

Sam jumped at the opportunity, "Oh! Yeah, I work over at Cross and Associates."

"You must be very good at what you do then."

Dean grinned, allowed himself a moment to feel the pride he always felt when talking about Sam and his successful career, "Oh yeah, Sammy's the brains of the operation. Went to Stanford and everything."

"You must be very proud." Cas said, smiling slightly in Dean's general direction.

"Damn right I am." Dean nearly puffed his chest out, Sam rolling his eyes at him though, kept him from doing anything embarrassing.

"So what do you do Cas?" Sam asked, gently steering the conversation away from any embarrassing topics that Dean was most likely to head into.

"I uh," Cas cleared his throat, almost looking embarrassed, "I teach at Juilliard."

Personally, Dean didn't have the slightest idea what Juilliard was, but Sam looked impressed. More than impressed, awed almost.

"What do you teach?"

"Cas is one of their best piano teachers." Jimmy said, plopping back down into the chair beside Cas.

"I wouldn't say best."

"Don't be modest Cas. Your classes are the ones that fill up first. _Everyone_ wants to be in Cas' classes. He's amazing."

"Jimmy-"

"Well you are."

"How can you play when you're-" Dean stopped realizing this was _not_ his day. _Probably suffering from foot in the mouth disease._

"With enough practice you don't need to see to be able to play." Cas muttered, fingers twisting his now empty coffee cup around on the table.

"Cas has been playing since he was what...four?"

"Five."

"His teachers called him a prodigy. Our mother used to call him her little Mozart." Jimmy said, grinning over at Cas who was turning a lovely red color.

"Guess it's in a big brother's nature to brag about their younger siblings." Dean shared a look with Jimmy and they grinned at one another. Sam suddenly snapped his fingers, he leaned towards Cas, face bright with excitement. Dean knew it was the face Sam got before he had a nerdgasm.

"I read about you in the papers last year! You did that tour over in Europe over the summer right?"

Cas nodded, his flush deepening and spreading from his cheeks all the way to his neck.

"I watched some of the videos on YouTube. God you're _amazing_." Jimmy nudged Cas, grinning wide as he said, "See, what'd I tell you Cas?"

"Bite me."

"Maybe later Sweetie."

Cas rolled his eyes skyward, shifted in his chair and asked quietly, "Would you like to come to one of my concerts then? It's the least I can do after what you did..."

Dean hesitated; the whole classical music thing wasn't exactly in his field of interest. Sam though, "Are you serious?" He looked like he'd just won the lottery.

Cas nodded, "In a few months I have a performance scheduled. Just me and some of the top students from the strings class."

Sam looked like a kid on Christmas Eve who just got told he could open his presents earlier.

"You better stop right there Cas, or you gonna make Sam have a heart attack", Dean said with amusement lacing his voice. Sam glared over at him while Cas chuckled, pulled a pen from his pocket and accepted the napkin Jimmy handed him. He jotted down a phone number before sliding the napkin across the table, "Just call this number to let me know how many people are going to join you. We'll save you some seats."

Sam took the napkin, looking at it with an almost reverent look on his face, "Wow, Cas. Thanks."

"You're welcome," he said with a shy smile gracing his face.

Dean took that moment to glance at his watch, "Oh _shit_! I'm late!" He grabbed his things and made a run for the door while yelling, "It was nice to meet you! See you around!"

Sam glared at his brothers retreating back, "Of course he leaves the bill for me to pay."

"Well. We better be off as well," Jimmy said while getting up, "Come on Cas, I'll drop you off at Julliard."

"It was nice meeting you Sam," Cas said, standing up, adjusting his cane in one hand while taking hold of Faith's harness in the other.

"Likewise," Sam answered with a smile, "And thank you for the tickets!" The twins waved as they departed and Sam sighed and headed for the register to pay for the bill. It was when he was gathering all his things that he realized Dean had somehow snatched the napkin with Cas' number on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean stared at the phone number in his hands, Sam had cornered him after realizing Dean had snatched it from him and had ordered Dean to call Cas since he was apparently so eager to do it. Dean figured they could wait to call Cas to tell him how many would be going to his performance, but Samantha was PMSing again and had insisted that the tickets would sell fast and he wanted good seats.

With a sigh Dean dialed in the number and brought the phone up to his ear, he hoped it would go to voicemail; he honestly had no idea what to say to Cas. He'd spent thirty minutes chatting with him and his brother, certainly wasn't a long enough time for a crush to emerge. Not that Cas wasn't easy on the eyes or anything, but there was just _something_ about him that drew Dean in.

"Hello?" Dean jolted out of his thoughts when the phone _didn't_ go to voicemail.

"Uh...Cas?"

"Yes?"

"It's...Dean. Dean Winchester?"

There was a pause then, "Oh! Dean, hello."

Dean cleared his throat, looked around his apartment and shuffled in place like some preteen asking her crush out on a date. Next thing he knew he'd be over at Sam's braiding his hair and painting their nails while they gossiped about who was taking who to prom.

"I just wanted to let you know how many seats to save. For your performance. That you invited us to."

"Oh? How many?" God, how could Cas sound so calm? Cheating bastard.

"Just three."

"Three? Who else will be joining you and your brother?" Dean had a moment to think that the invitation had just been for him and Sam, Dean was prepared to give up his seat though. He wasn't too interested in piano music and violins and whatever else.

"If there's only room for two then I can-"

"No, Dean. It's fine, I'm just curious."

"Uh, Sam's girlfriend Jess wanted to come along. Apparently she's a fan too."

"I look forward to meeting her then." Dean held back a snort, to say Jess had been ecstatic to hear about how Sam had met _the_ Castiel Novak was an understatement. She had nearly gone into a frenzy when informed they'd been invited to a show. She'd shit a brick if she knew she got to meet him. She'd shit a whole _pile_ of bricks.

"Great then."

Cue awkward silence.

"Do you need anything else, Dean?"

"No, I think we're good."

"Very well, then I'll-"

"Wait. I lied. There's one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Uh. Wanna get some coffee with me sometime?" Did he _seriously_ just ask that? Dean rewound in his head to confirm…yes, he had just asked that.

There was a long silence, then Castiel coughed and asked, "Like...a date?"

Dean chuckled and resisted the urge to slam his head into the nearest wall, "Yeah Cas, like a date."

"Oh...I think I'd like that."

"You think?" Dean asked, amusement coloring his voice.

"Well, we haven't had the actual date for me to know if I'll like it or not."

Dean couldn't help but chuckle, "Alright smart ass, when's a good time for you?"

Cas hesitated on the other line, and Dean could just picture him blushing as he asked, "Now?"

"Now? Well you certainly don't waste any time."

"Life is too short for it to go to waste," Cas said with a certain tone to his voice that made Dean think he was speaking from experience.

"Well...do you want me to pick you up? Or do you want to meet me somewhere?" Dean heard Cas hesitate, "Will it help you if I swear I'm not a psycho?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"That's what all the psychos say." Cas grumbled, causing Dean to chuckle as Cas gave him his address and Dean said he'd be there in an hour.

Cas lived in a nice apartment building in the Upper West Side in Manhattan, the location instantly made Dean green with envy. Cas must have had a nice view from his apartment, and Dean instantly smacked himself, the view wasn't really part of Cas' concern. Still though, there was a nice view of Central Park and the neighborhood was about fifty times nicer than Dean's own over in the Bronx.

Jimmy buzzed him up to the apartment, since for some reason he wouldn't let Cas go down and wait on the sidewalk for Dean.

When Dean stepped out of the elevator, he saw the door to their apartment was cracked open and he could hear the faint tinkling of a piano being played. He might not be into all that classical nonsense like Sam and Jess were, but what he was hearing was...beautiful. No matter how chick flicky that might sound, it was the only word that came close to describing what he was hearing. Beautiful.

As he came closer to the door the music stopped and he heard someone making their way towards it.

"Where are you going Cas?" He heard Jimmy ask.

"Dean is at the door."

He barely had any time to question how Cas figured it out, before the door was pulled the rest of the way open, "Hello Dean. Would you like to come in?" He asked standing aside.

"Hi Cas." Dean stepped into the apartment and Cas closed the door behind him, "What were you playing?"

Cas shrugged, heading into the apartment without any aid, letting Dean know he knew his way around and had probably lived here for some time.

"Did you like it?"

"Huh?"

"What I was playing? Did you like it?"

"Yeah, it was uh...beautiful Cas." Cas gave him a smile over his shoulder and Dean followed him into a room that was wide open, a large piano sat in the corner, floor to ceiling windows along the entire wall, Jimmy sat on one of the couches situated in the middle of the room. He smiled his greeting and went back to flipping through the magazine on his lap.

"Will you..." God he hated asking this, but he wanted _more_. He wanted to hear and see Cas play for himself, "Will you play some more?"

Cas smiled at him again, "Sure."

Jimmy smirked over at Dean then said, "Play him my song Cassie." Dean felt his eyebrows raise as Cas rolled his eyes.

"Cas writes a song for every person in his life, he'll probably write you one eventually."

Cas' face turned a brilliant scarlet as he hissed, " _Jimmy_."

"Just letting him know what to expect." Jimmy said, smirking again as he shrugged. Cas plopped down on the bench behind the piano and motioned for Dean to join him. Dean eased himself down onto the bench; Cas hesitated for a moment, fingers resting over the keys before he started to play.

Dean had never had a hand fetish before, but he was pretty sure he'd developed one watching Cas' long, elegant fingers dance over the keys. Like before the song was beautiful, it started simple and light, the pace slow before quickly picking up into something that rolled together and flowed. He might not be very religious, but it sounded like something you would imagine angels playing.

Dean could tell that it was a song meant for Jimmy, he could see how it would represent the bond the two shared, deep yet light, but he could sense there was an undertone to it, something sad, something that made his heart ache. The tempo slowed, dropped from the higher notes to something deeper, slower before tapering off into silence.

It was over much too soon.

He had half a mind to ask Cas to play it again, or play another and another. Dean could easily sit here all night long and listen to Cas play. He was privately glad he'd let Sam talk him into going to Cas' performance in a few months.

Cas voice suddenly broke the silence "What did you think?"

"That was great Cas." He didn't add that he could listen to Cas play all night; he didn't want to come off as a weirdo or anything.

Cas smiled shyly, "Thank you."

"So, Dean. What are your intentions towards my baby brother?" Jimmy asked, breaking the silence. Dean suddenly understood why Jimmy didn't want to let Cas wait downstairs.

He hesitated, unsure of what to say, but luckily Cas came to the rescue, "His intentions are to take me out for coffee, have a nice conversation and then drop me back here, right?" He said while he got up and called for Faith, who came bouncing up to them with his cane in her mouth.

"Yeah...what he said," _Damn...Jimmy could be scary when he wanted to._

"Be sure to bring him back early. He has a class to teach."

"Bye mom!" Cas yelled as he dragged Dean out of the door.

"Sorry about that." Cas said as soon as they were out of Jimmy's hearing range, "He can get a bit overprotective."

"Don't worry about it. It's normal."

"Because I'm blind?" Cas asked while frowning at him.

"No, because you're his baby brother."

Cas snorted as they entered the elevator, "Just because he's the elder of us by seven minutes doesn't make me incapable of handling myself."

"Not according to the big brother book."

"Are you this bad with Sam?"

"Better believe it."

Cas let out a mournful sigh, shook his head and muttered, "I feel sorry for him then."

"Hey! If it wasn't for me the kid wouldn't have turned out the way he did."

"If it weren't for Jimmy I wouldn't have turned out like this as well." Cas said quietly, free hand tugging on Faith's ears, a nervous habit Dean was beginning to recognize.

"What do you mean?" Cas blinked, bit his lip and shook his head, "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." The elevator doors dinged open and Faith led Cas out of the building, leaving Dean confused as to what had just happened.

Dean gathered himself and followed Cas out into the warm spring air. Cas was waiting for him at the corner, cane tucked under his arm as he held onto Faith's harness. His head turned towards Dean when Dean approached and he would have to remember to ask Cas how he did that.

"What did you mean Cas?" Cas sighed and folded his cane up; tucking it into a pocket on the pack Faith wore on her back. He slid his arm through Dean's, Dean a little unsure of what he was supposed to do but he figured if he could keep Cas from running into any walls he'd be okay.

"I wasn't born blind." Cas muttered as they crossed the street, Faith leading the way. Dean looked over at Cas, noting that there were no scars around his eyes, nothing was missing really. They were still a bright, intense blue, the only issue being they were unfocused, glazed over.

"What happened, then?" Dean asked quietly when Cas didn't continue.

"It was an accident."

"What kind?"

Cas sighed, his eyes slipping shut, "We were seventeen. We'd just gotten our licenses, had just gotten a car of our own. We were happy, excited. Jimmy wanted to go for a little drive out to a lake on the outskirts of our town, watch the stars for a bit."

Dean could see where this was going.

"I took off my seat belt for a minute so I could take off my sweatshirt, it was the middle of the summer and I was hot. Figured I could take it off without anything happening in those few minutes I had my seat belt off."

"Something happened though." Dean muttered. Cas nodded, his arm tightening around Dean's for a moment before he said, "Jimmy had looked away from the road for a moment, trying to find a radio station to listen to. A deer ran out in front of the car and Jimmy hit it. Hitting a deer at the speed we were going was like hitting a wall. Jimmy was wearing his seat belt, so he was okay, only sprained his ankle."

"But you weren't wearing your seat belt."

Cas shook his head, "I hit the windshield. Hard. Surprisingly I didn't go through it, the angle was off or something I suppose. But I hit my head hard enough and in just the right spot and well...lights out."

"You've been blind since?"

Cas nodded, "Jimmy blames himself. Says he should have been paying attention, should have done more to avoid the deer. It's why he's so overprotective, he thinks it's his job to take care of me now, thinks it's his responsibility. I've adjusted though, I've got Faith to help me with the little things, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. He just refuses to believe it though."

"I'm sorry Cas."

Cas shrugged, sighed and muttered, "I've been blind for eighteen years now, and I'm rather used to it. You know, I hardly remember what I look like, what Jimmy looks like. I don't know what our other siblings look like anymore. I don't remember what a lot of things look like," Cas hesitated for a moment, eyes turning until they were focused in the general direction of Dean's voice, "I don't even know what you look like Dean."

"Don't worry Cas; I'm not much to look at. You're not missing anything."

Cas chuckled, stopped when he sniffed and smelled the coffee shop, Faith led them towards the door, "I find that hard to believe Dean."

Dean led Cas over to an empty table and left him there with Faith to get them some coffee, or in Cas' case, the tea he'd requested. When Dean returned to the table with their cups Cas was playing with the saltshaker, passing it back and forth between his hands, eyes staring sightlessly out the window as he waited.

"Alright, one tea and my coffee," Dean paused by the table, unsure of what to do with Cas' cup, Cas thankfully smiled, rested his hand on the table, "Just put it against my hand, and pass me the honey." Dean did as he said and watched as Cas stuck a finger into the cup to judge how much liquid there was, watched as he uncapped the honey and poured a generous amount in, listened as he hummed in satisfaction when he tasted it.

He seemed to sense Dean's stare, "Like I said, I've adjusted rather well Dean."

"I can see that." Dean winced, wishing he could take the words back soon as they'd left his mouth. He apparently was lacking tact today, rubbing it into a blind man's face that he could _see_. Jeez.

Cas didn't seem to mind though and they sipped their drinks in silence for a few moments and finally Cas said, "You never told me what it is you do."

"Huh?"

"Job Dean, your job."

"Oh! I'm a detective."

"What division?"

"Violent crimes. Domestic stuff mostly. Work with the guys in homicide sometimes." Cas hummed, twisted his cup around on the table for a moment then said, "It fits you."

"What?"

"Your job, I imagine you're good at what you do. You like helping people." Dean blinked at him; he was seriously considering the fact that Cas was a psychic of some sort.

"Since I'm blind I learned to read people rather well Dean. I can't see you, but I can hear you."

"That's kinda creepy dude." Cas simply grinned at him.

"Is that how you knew I was at the door, back at your apartment?"

"Yes, I heard the elevator door open. Lose one sense and the others kick into overdrive."

"So what, you've got some super hearing and super smell?"

"Wouldn't call them super, but they do work better than most."

"Huh."

"I can smell your leather jacket, could hear your pride for your brother when you talked about him, smelled the coffee shop when we got here. Heard your determination when you told me your job. I add it all together to get a read on a person."

"Awesome." He'd have to remember to shower more often then, if he was going to be around Cas. Didn't want to scare the guy off with his stink.

"Not so much when Jimmy decides to leave his dirty laundry around the apartment."

Dean snorted, "You might want to avoid Sam's place for a bit then. He's got the stinkiest feet on the planet." Cas snorted into his tea, and they moved on to other topics. They didn't have much in common, Dean learned, but it was still amazingly easy to talk to Cas about anything. He had this aura of calm about him and it just sucked Dean in to where Dean didn't ever want to leave.

An hour passed rather quickly and Cas decided it was time to leave and take a walk around the area. Cas looped his arm through Dean's like it was the most natural reaction on the planet, Dean found he didn't mind. Cas was the perfect height, only an inch shorter than Dean was, so they were able to have their hands in their pockets as they walked.

"So how did you get so into music?"

"Our mother was a music teacher. She loved everything musical so she had us learn instruments. I learned the piano, Jimmy the cello and Gabriel the guitar."

"You only play the piano?"

"I play some cello as well, and some violin, but I love the piano."

They were silent for a few steps, "So how come Jimmy doesn't play the cello with you?"

"He used to do it sometimes but Gabriel and Jimmy were never into the music as much as I was. They only went with it to appease our mother. Jimmy was more into the visual side of things, preferred drawing and painting while Gabriel just liked to party and play pranks on everyone."

"Sounds like a swell guy."

"He grows on you. Plus he always has an endless supply of candy."

"I can see the advantages." They entered a park and it was almost like a scene right out of a movie. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, the trees were in bloom, there was even a couple enjoying a picnic for crying out loud.

Cas took a deep breath, smiled, "It smells like spring."

"Looks like spring. It's almost sickening how picturesque it all is."

"Describe it to me." Dean hesitated and looked around again. Words had never really been his strong suit, but the least he could do was try.

"The sun's shining through the trees, making the leaves look twice as green as they usually are, the path we're walking on is dappled with their shadows. Flowers are blooming all over the place, kids are playing over by the fountain and dogs are running around after sticks and rolling in the grass. Hell Cas, there's even a couple having a picnic. They look happy though, like they're in love, off in their own little world, not giving a damn about anything going on around them."

Dean hesitated, looking around the park uncertainly. How the hell was he supposed to describe this to Cas, what was he supposed to say to someone who couldn't see any of it? Did Cas even remember what half this shit looked like?

Cas gave him a little nudge in the side with his elbow, urging Dean on. Dean took a breath and carried on, making half this shit up as he went, "There are freakin' birds everywhere, choosing trees for their nests, fighting over breadcrumbs this creepy old lady tossed at them. Pretty mom walkin' with her baby in a stroller, she looks happy too even though the bags under her eyes give away how much she's staying up at night with her baby."

"Mmm...I can almost picture it." Dean looked over and saw that Cas had his head tilted back a little into the sun, eyes closed, a small smile on his lips.

"I never realized how much we take for granted. People don't appreciate things enough." Dean muttered, finding it hard to take his eyes off Cas.

"You should try walking around with a blindfold on sometime. You'd _really_ appreciate things then."

"Maybe I will."

"Ten bucks says you can't keep it on for an hour."

"You're on."

"Another ten if you get a bruise."

"Easy as pie."

They walked for a few more minutes, making a slow circuit around the park, arm in arm, not really needing to talk.

"So, shall I escort you home or take you to dinner?" Dean asked as they came back to the entrance of the park that they'd come in through. Cas hesitated for a moment, looking like he was fighting himself on something before he whispered, "I could eat."

Dean grinned, so could he, "I know just the place."


	3. Chapter 3

Dean settled back against the headboard, he'd been stripped down to his jeans, Cas' fingers mapping his body as each article of clothing was removed. It wasn't supposed to be anything sexual; Cas had only requested to know what Dean looked like, to "see" for himself. Dean had agreed, not knowing it would turn into something like this.

Cas settled himself on Dean's lap, knees framing Dean's hips and thighs. Cas was still fully clothed (which was completely unfair) but his eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly parted, hot puffs of air brushing across Dean's cheeks as Cas' fingers moved feather light over his face.

A thumb trailed down the side of his nose, along his cheekbone and followed the line of his jaw. Cas' other hand followed the line of his shoulder, across his chest and down his stomach, index finger dipping briefly into his bellybutton.

Cas let out a hum and leaned closer, his lean chest pressing against Dean's until Dean swore he could feel the beat of Cas' heart.

"What color are your eyes?" Cas asked quietly, fingers brushing gently over Dean's eyelids.

"Green."

"Green. What kind of green?" Fingers explored the dip between nose and mouth while Dean struggled to think of an appropriate color green. He didn't know, it wasn't like he looked in the mirror in the morning and decided what color his eyes were.

"Um...I don't know, I guess," Dean sucked in a breath as Cas leaned forward, lips brushing against Dean's cheek, "Mossy green? I don't fuckin' know Cas." Cas chuckled, lips barely brushing against Dean's own, Dean fought the urge to lean forward and make it a proper kiss.

"You have a nice mouth." Cas whispered, smiling slightly. Dean huffed out a laugh, "So I've been told."

Cas let out an appreciative hum as fingers slid into Dean's hair, lightly tugging, experimenting length.

"What about your hair?"

Dean smirked, rubbed his nose along Cas', "I'm a dirty blonde Cas."

Cas chuckled, tugged a little harder, "We'll see just how dirty."

"Saying you're dirtier than me Cas?" Cas grinned at him and bit down on his neck, hips rolling down and grinding.

"Jesus fuck Cas." Cas chuckled again, licked his apology along Dean's neck and trailed his fingers along Dean's side, fingers counting his ribs and testing the give of skin.

"Always thought actions spoke louder than words." Cas said with a down right dirty grin. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, he'd never felt that he'd gone in over his head when it came to the people he landed in bed with, he certainly felt that now though.

Cas' hands moved around to Dean's back, gently kneading and exploring as he whispered, "Just because I'm blind Dean, doesn't mean I'm innocent."

"Yeah, think I got that." Dean muttered, arching a little as Cas dug his fingers in, blunt nails scratching below his shoulder blades.

And they hadn't even properly _kissed_ yet. What was Cas doing to him? Dean squirmed a little as Cas' fingers dipped down below the waistband of his jeans, and Dean nearly hated himself for saying, "Cas, I don't think-"

"I wasn't planning to Dean." Dean nodded, as much as his brain was urging him to flip Cas over and have his way with him, he really didn't want to. He didn't want to jump right into sex with Cas, didn't want to turn it into another notch in his belt, not when there was _something_ here. It frightened Dean a little, he'd never felt this kind of connection with someone before, but he wanted to explore it, learn it, understand what was going on here. He wanted what Sam had with Jess, that someone to come home to, that someone that would understand what he needed before Dean knew himself. He could feel that it could be a very strong possibility that he could have just that with Cas.

Cas pressed a kiss to his shoulder and slid off his lap, "We can just sleep Dean."

"You want me to stay?"

Cas hesitated; bit his lip, "Unless you don't want to. I'm sorry for assuming."

"I want to Cas." Cas nodded and Dean watched as he stripped out of his shirt and pants and crawled under the covers. Dean took that as his cue to join him. He finished his undressing and crawled in under the covers with Cas, automatically lifting his arm up when Cas pressed against his side.

Cas let out a happy little sigh as his eyes slipped shut, head resting on Dean's chest, "Night Dean."

"G'night Cas."

Compared to how peacefully Dean had fallen asleep the night before, he received a rather rude wakeup call in the morning. The door slammed open and bounced off the wall with enough force to nearly slam shut again had Jimmy not been in the way.

Cas rolled away from Dean, pulling the blankets up over his head with a groan while Dean sat up and blinked sleepily at Jimmy's furious glare, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Nothing! We were just sleeping together."

" _What_?"

"Not _together_ together. Just sleeping. Together."

Cas reemerged from under the blankets, eyes squinted in his annoyance, "Jimmy, go away."

"I'll go away when you explain me just what the fuck Dean is doing in your bed?"

"He was doing just what he said. Sleeping. And so was I. So go away." Cas pulled Dean back down, flopped against his side and threw his arm over Dean's waist, aiming his expectant glare in Jimmy's direction.

"We'll have a talk when you finally deign yourself to get up," Jimmy grumbled before turning and pointing an accusing finger at Dean, "And _you_. You make sure you don't do anything with my brother or I'll castrate you with a spoon. Got it?"

"He gets it Jimmy. Now leave me and my pillow alone." Jimmy huffed and slammed the door shut behind him when he left while Dean poked at Cas' shoulder, "Pillow? That's all I am to you?"

"Mmhmm. Now, it's too early for you to be anything else so shut up and go back to sleep. I'll think of other uses for you when I wake up." Dean rolled his eyes, but nestled down into the covers and pillows with Cas anyway. He needed his rest, since breakfast was going to be awkward to say the least.

Two hours later Dean flailed awake when Cas elbowed him in the side, "Shit, sorry Dean. I'm trying to find my shirt."

"Get off me and I'll find it for you." Dean grumbled, rubbing where Cas' elbow had collided. Cas rolled off of him and sat in the middle of the bed, hair looking like he'd just stuck his tongue in an electrical socket and blankets piled around his waist while he waited for Dean to gather their clothes.

Dean tossed Cas' shirt at his head, laughing as it draped there and Cas grumbled obscenities at Dean under his breath. Dean snickered and dressed in his jeans and shirt while Cas left it at his boxers and t-shirt.

"You know, I wouldn't mind staying in here and having you for breakfast instead." Dean said, looking Cas up and down as he stood.

Cas snorted, "Then Jimmy would come in and castrate you with his spoon and then what use would I have for you? Besides...I like to think myself as a full course meal instead of just breakfast."

"You really think your hot shit huh?"

"You have no idea." Cas grinned and winked over in Dean's direction while Dean chuckled and shook his head, trying to get himself under control. This Cas was completely different from the one he'd gotten to know the other day, different from the one he'd first met.

He really liked this Cas.

The effect of their bantering was ruined when Cas tripped over Dean's shoe. Cas slammed into Dean, Dean stumbled back, tripped over his own feet and landed on his ass, head hitting the door with a solid _thud_ that had Jimmy shouting, "You better not be doing what I think you're doing in there!"

Cas pulled his face out of Dean's armpit, levered himself upright, "We're not doing a damn thing Jimmy!"

"I'll get my spoon out! I'm not afraid to fucking use it either!"

"Why don't you come in here and bite me Jimmy!"

"Wouldn't want to cut Dean off!" Dean rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Cas, "I'm really sorry Cas. You okay?"

"I'm fine," Cas' hand groped around for a second until it landed on Dean's shoulder, from there it easily slid up to the back of his head, checking for injuries, "Are you? That was your head hitting the door wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm fine though, don't worry. I've got a hard head."

Cas chuckled quietly, "Apparently. Future reference though, push your shit off to the side." Dean nodded, standing and helping Cas up, double-checking to make sure Cas wasn't hurt anywhere.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Cas."

"It's fine. I'm fine. You're not used to this, just you know...remember is all." Dean nodded and Cas tugged on his hand, "Come on, might as well get breakfast out of the way before Jimmy blows something."

Dean opened the door and found Jimmy directly on the other side, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What's going on? What happened?" Jimmy's attention turned to Cas; he shoved Dean out of the way and went about inspecting Cas for himself.

"I'm fine Jimmy, I only tripped."

"Only tripped? Last time you 'only tripped', you broke your fuckin' foot Cas. You sure you're okay?" Cas rolled his eyes and slapped Jimmy's hands away.

Jimmy spun, pointed a finger in Dean's face, "You can't just leave your shit lying around wherever you want it! You have to be careful! Everything's where it is for a reason and we don't move it so Cas doesn't hurt himself!"

Cas shoved at Jimmy and growled out, "Shouldn't you be cooking Jimmy?"

"Crap!" Jimmy turned and raced into the kitchen where the smell of something burning was coming from. Cas sighed and shook his head, "Sorry for him Dean. He's just-"

"Overprotective?"

"Yes."

"I'll get used to it." Cas grunted and headed down the hallway and into the kitchen where Jimmy was cursing the toaster for burning the toast. There was fresh coffee though, so Dean didn't mind the burnt smell lingering in the air so much.

"It's not the toasters fault you're an overprotective idiot." Cas said fondly as he sat down at the table.

"No. It's Dean's."

"How is it my fault you burnt the toast?"

"If you hadn't slept here I wouldn't have to worry about you stealing my brother's innocence." Both Dean and Cas snorted into their coffee.

"He can't steal something I don't have, Jimmy."

"Yes you do," Jimmy said with a look that screamed _I'm in denial and wish to stay that way_ , "And if it's up to me you'll keep it to the day you die"

"Can't keep something I don't have any more Jimmy."

"Don't you lie to me Cas." Dean grinned and sat back in his chair, they were so much like himself and Sam in their bantering that he couldn't help but sit back and enjoy.

"I remember this time with Balthazar, we were in an elevator in a hotel...he let me go to town on his co-"

"Whoa! Okay Cas! Stop right there!"

"He also liked to handcuff me to the headboard and lick whipped cream off my-"

" _Castiel Aiden Novak_! Shut your fuckin' mouth!"

"You asked for it _James_." Jimmy brandished his spoon, knocked it against the counter to let Cas know he had it in hand, "I will come over there."

"And do what?"

"Don't test me Castiel."

"You're the one living in denial Jimmy while I happily fuck whomever I please."

"Ugh, please shut up."

"And when I damn well feel like it I will let Dean fuck me into the mattress so hard I'll feel it for a week. I'll make sure you're home too, and I'll scream at the top of my lungs as I come."

"Jesus, how are we related?" Jimmy moaned, covering his face with his hands while Dean tried not to choke on his coffee.

"Great...now I'll need bleach to wash the images out of my mind." Jimmy said as he shuddered.

"Then we'll do it in the shower. Probably even right here on this kitchen table." Jimmy tossed up his hands and left the kitchen with a, "I'm out."

Cas snickered while Dean said, "I'm trying not to be turned on over here, but it's really hard when you talk like that."

"It's the only way to get him to shut up."

"Well, if you ever want to shut _me_ up, feel free to do all those things."

"I plan to. And then some."

Cas was going to be the death of Dean, he was positive of this. At least he'd kick the bucket happy.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean was sitting at his desk two weeks later; it was his paperwork day since he had no cases to work on now, which was a rare event in itself. He hated paperwork, as much as he hated what it meant for the people out there he wished a case would pop up for him.

Out of boredom and mostly curiosity Dean found himself looking up Cas' file, since there had been an accident and all, there would be something about it in the system. Dean was shocked to see more than just the accident report under Castiel's name though.

Dean frowned as he worked through them, reports of domestic abuse and hell even a restraining order. Dean's frown deepened when he read through the reports, none of them had been looked into very thoroughly since neighbors had been the ones reporting it and the guy... _Lucifer_...who the hell was named Lucifer nowadays?

Lucifer apparently was an upstanding citizen. He was the CEO of one of the big company's downtown, nothing to note on his report. The cops investigating it had noted that Lucifer and Cas' relationship seemed fine, plus Castiel was blind so the thumps and yells heard by the neighbors could easily be attributed to him running into things.

Dean scrolled through it all, frown deepening all the while, Cas had finally brought on a restraining order two months after their relationship ended claiming Lucifer was stalking him. Nothing had really been done about it since again, Cas was blind and how could he be so sure?

Dean was so caught up in reading everything that when his phone rang he nearly jumped out of his chair. Judging by the ring tone it was Sam calling, Dean rolled his eyes and answered with a gruff, " _What_?"

"Well, hello to you too." Sam said, grin evident in his voice.

"What do you want Sammy?" Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and shut down the windows he'd opened with all of Cas' information in it. He probably shouldn't have looked into it like that, but he'd been curious and it wasn't exactly something you could bring up in everyday conversation, and he wasn't even sure what he and Cas were. They'd only gone out a few more times, Dean busy working and Cas busy teaching. Were they even boyfriends?

"I thought I told you not to call me that anymore."

"Sure you did. But what gave you the idea I'd stop?"

There was a long suffering sigh on the other end of the line that had Dean rolling his eyes, "Just calling to make sure you haven't forgotten Jess' birthday."

"Shit!"

" _Dean_...I just reminded you the other day! How could you forget?" Now he sounded like that whiny five year old who hadn't gotten his favorite stuffed animal.

"I just...have a lot on my mind."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes Samantha, just a case giving me some trouble." It wasn't too much of a lie, it wasn't technically _his_ case, but it involved Cas and he'd make it his deal if he had to.

He could almost hear Sam rolling his eyes "The party is tomorrow, so make sure to buy her something, okay?"

"Fine."

"Good. You should bring your boyfriend to the party."

Dean spluttered for a moment, at a loss for words before, "He's not my boyfriend," popped out.

"And denial isn't just a river in Egypt."

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Dean rolled his eyes again, turned his computer off and gathered his things.

"Whatever you think you guys are, just make sure to bring him, okay? It would mean a lot to Jess..." He could just picture the puppy dog eyes his brother was making.

"I'll ask him, but I'm not promising anything. Cas has his own life, you know?"

"He'll come."

"Yeah, what makes you so sure?"

"Because you are the one asking."

"Whatever Sam. I'll ask him, but he's been busy with his own job."

"Just ask would you?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head Sammy, I'll fuckin' ask him." Sam huffed on the other line and Dean hung up before he could bitch anymore. Dean checked the time and flipped his phone back open to call Cas and ask him to dinner tonight and to Jess' party tomorrow night. He could also use someone to help him think of a gift for her since he had no idea what to get her.

"Hello?"

"Hi Cas. Are you busy tonight?" Dean could hear the faint sounds of a piano in the background letting him know Cas was still at the school, which probably meant a yes, he was busy.

"Not really. I should be done here soon. Why?"

"Dinner? You and me?"

"I would like that."

"Awesome. Want me to pick you up?"

"Yes. Just come to my classroom, I may not be done but you can wait." Dean chuckled and shook his head as he headed for the Impala, trust Cas to just order him around like he knew what Dean would and wouldn't mind doing.

"Alright Cas, I'll be there soon."

Cas grunted at him and Dean heard him shouting, "No! B flat! _B flat_!" before he hung up. They still needed to work on his phone etiquette.

Thirty minutes later found Dean sitting in the large auditorium that served as Cas' "classroom". From the looks of things most of the students had left already, one was up on the stage with Cas, a cello resting between her legs as she waited, Cas was seated behind the piano centered on the stage talking with another student.

When that student left Cas called out, "I'll be done in a few minutes Dean." How Cas knew Dean was there was beyond him, it still baffled him how well Cas could pick him out.

"Sure Cas, take your time." Cas and his student, who Dean learned went by the name Marie, discussed things like tempo and notes that just went right over Dean's head, then Cas started playing and Marie soon jumped in on the cello.

Dean sat back in his chair in the first row, watching and listening as Cas and Marie played together, perfectly in sync, the notes swelling in volume together only interrupted occasionally by Cas' voice giving out instruction to help Marie along.

But Jesus, if that song wasn't one of the most wonderful things Dean had ever heard. It was just so gentle and easy going; Dean just let his head fall back against the seat and closed his eyes, letting those gentle notes ease over him. He could stay right here like this forever.

Too soon, the song ended, it was followed up by the sounds of things being packed away and Cas talking in quiet tones about the song and where it needed work and where it was fine. Dean just stayed where he was, now enjoying the sound of Cas' rough voice echoing throughout the auditorium despite his quiet volume.

"You can come up here if you like Dean." Dean opened his eyes to see Cas standing at the edge of the stage, smiling down at him.

"One day you're going to tell me how you know where I am all the damn time."

Cas simply smiled at him and walked back towards the piano, "Get up here with me." Dean rolled his eyes but did as Cas demanded, joining him on the bench seat as Cas played random little tunes.

"So is that song going to be one of the one's you perform?"

"The one I just did with Marie?"

"Yeah."

"No, that song is hers. I just had the piano in there to help with her pacing."

"Well, it was nice."

"I'll be sure to let her know." They fell into a comfortable silence, Dean just watching Cas' elegant fingers dance lightly over the keys, light and random notes that weren't part of anything being played in the process. Dean suspected Cas was doing it just because he could and he wanted to, Dean knew Cas could sit behind the piano all day and just play, knew it was what Cas loved doing the most.

"So, Jess' birthday is tomorrow."

"Oh?"

"She and Sam are having a party and all."

"I see."

"Wanna come?" A little smirk, which had Dean rolling his eyes, "Not in _that_ way you perv."

"Well then...it's a shame, because the answer would have been yes."

"Cas."

"You're no fun," Cas muttered, full lips falling into a pout as he played a little tune that just _sounded_ sarcastic, "But if you'd like me to go, I will."

"It's not about what I want Cas. It's about what you want."

"Will it make her happy if I go?"

Dean snorted, "I think 'happy' is an understatement Cas. She'd probably shit kittens and puke rainbows."

Cas chuckled, fingers playing a jaunty little tune, "Then I'll go."

"Great!" Dean watched as Cas' fingers stroked over the keys, "Um...would you help me pick out a gift for her?"

"Of course Dean." Dean grinned, knocking his shoulder against Castiel's causing Cas' fingers to skitter off the keys and ruin whatever tune he was playing.

Cas scowled and said in his haughtiest tone, "I already have a gift for her."

"How the hell do you already have a gift for her? You only just now learned it was her birthday."

Deadpan, "I'm psychic."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Whatever smart ass."

"It's technically a gift for both Sam and Jess, I was going to give it to them after my performance, I didn't know I would be meeting her before then."

"What is it?"

"I made them a song." Jess would die and go to Heaven.

"Play it for me?" Cas nodded and pushed Dean over a bit, so Cas was sitting more in the center of the bench. He made a show of cracking his knuckles, clearing his throat and tossing an imaginary jacket over the back of the bench seat. Dean grinned and rolled his eyes, Cas was obviously in a playful mood and it always rubbed off on Dean like some weird mood disease.

"Just play the song drama queen."

"Aye aye captain!"

Dean quieted when Cas started playing; the notes were light and easy, moving along slowly before moving into a faster pace. The song itself just sounded _happy_ and hopeful, something like devotion and love floating in underneath it all. Dean sat there, quietly watching Cas as he played, Cas' eyes had slipped shut and there was a small, happy little smile on his face. Dean had to wonder if Cas really _was_ psychic, he hadn't even met Jess or heard how Sam was with her, nothing at all, yet the song described their relationship perfectly.

Jess was going to be ecstatic, and Sam would probably cry, the big girl he was.

Like all of Cas' songs it was over much too soon and all Dean could do was smile and nudge him gently with his shoulder, "They're going to love it Cas."

Cas gave a shy smile before it changed into his sarcastic one, "Good, because I worked all of ten hours on it." Dean snorted and pressed a gentle kiss to Cas' cheek, "Thanks Cas."

Cas hummed, turned his face towards Dean, eyes still closed as he played a joyful sounding tune.

"And what was that?"

"Part of your song."

"My song?"

"Yes."

"Play it again." Cas did, nose rubbing against Dean's, eyelashes fluttering and tickling. Dean couldn't help but grin, "I like it."

Cas returned his smile then promptly shoved him off the seat, laughing when Dean landed on the stage with an _oof_.

"I'd sure hope you like it. Now c'mon. I'm hungry. Feed me."


	5. Chapter 5

Dean pulled the Impala into his parking spot outside of Sam and Jess' apartment building. He knew they were running a little late; Dean had been distracted by how good Cas had looked dressed in his dress pants, waistcoat and tie.

The man could pull off a waistcoat, especially when it, the shirt and pants were all the same chocolate brown color and the tie was a bright red color, just begging for Dean to rip it off and expose the long, pale length of Cas' throat.

Dean rushed around the front of the Impala to help Cas out of the passenger seat; they'd left Faith at Cas' apartment with Jimmy since Dean would be here with him most of the night.

Cas looped his arm through Dean's, his grip tight as they headed across the parking lot and for the entrance.

"Don't worry Cas, I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know you won't Dean." Dean patted Cas' arm reassuringly as they stepped off the elevator on Sam's floor, their gifts clutched in Cas' free hand.

"Relax Cas, it's just Sam and Jess."

"They're your family Dean, this is important to you."

Dean shrugged, "They already like you dude." Cas sighed as Dean reached forward and rang the bell. Normally he would just throw himself into the apartment, but since they were late and he could hear there were people already in there, he did it the proper way.

"Cas! I'm so glad you could make it!" Sam said as soon he opened the door, all smiles and dimples and floppy hair.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Hey! What am I? Horse shit?"

"Well...you certainly got the smell down."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Sam. Who is it?" Jess popped up at Sam's elbow, grinning when she spotted Dean, her blue eyes bright, blonde hair bouncing as she bounced on the balls of her feet. Jess was always a ball of energy, always happy to see you, always having a hug for you. She was feisty, which Dean appreciated, her sense of humor resembled Dean's which made it great fun for him to join in on ganging up on Sam. She was good for his brother though, they balanced each other out.

" _Oh my God_! Sam! Dean! It's Castiel Novak!"

"Really, Jess? I had _no idea,_ so I'm happy you're here to tell me who my boyfriend is, I'd be lost without you." Cas' elbow connected with Dean's side, and none to gently either.

"He's your freakin' boyfriend and you didn't think to tell me?" Jess punched Dean on the arm, Sam bitchfaced and pulled Jess back, "Hey! We wanted him to be a surprise."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Jessica." Cas finally spoke up, keeping them from bickering further. Jess made a sound that was a mixture of a squeal and a scream and launched herself at Cas. Cas staggered back at the unexpected weight of an excited Jess latching onto him.

"I can't believe you're really here! _The_ Castiel Novak is in my house!" Jess bounced back, grinning wide before jumping forward again, arms wrapping around Cas' neck in another hug, "I'm so, _so_ happy to meet you! This is like the best present ever!" Cas was awkwardly returning her hug, his face flushing a bright scarlet at her excitement and praise. Cas was forever modest about his work; he didn't think his songs were as amazing as everyone else thought them to be, thought he wasn't that big of a deal when he really was.

"So I should return the other ones?" Dean asked, grinning and reaching down to pick up the wrapped packages Cas had dropped.

"Of course not! You've already bought them, didn't you?" Jess backed away from Cas finally, eyes bright as she gave Dean a smug grin, "Now give them to me!"

Jess made grabby hands at Dean and Dean stepped back from her, pretending to contemplate his options. Jess huffed out a sigh and snatched them from his grip before turning and marching back into the apartment.

Dean took Cas' arm in his again, the man was looking a little lost and forgotten in the middle of the hallway, probably unsure of what was going on around him.

"Come on. I want to introduce you my parents."

"Your parents?" Cas looked a little panicked at the thought and Dean remembered he hadn't really mentioned that they would be here.

"Yeah, you know. The ones who share half of my genes?"

"Oh...right." Dean dragged Cas into the apartment, shutting the door behind them. Cas tugged at his tie, loosening the knot enough so he could unbutton the top button on his shirt while Dean navigated through the crowded living room. Sam had invited all of their friends by the looks of it, Dean would be doing a lot of introductions tonight, he wanted Cas to feel welcomed.

He spotted his parents over on the couch, they were talking quietly to one another but they stopped and slowly stood up as Dean approached with Cas in tow. Dean had been relentless in his movements, not giving Cas enough time to do his thing so he could be able to navigate the room on his own if need be.

Dean barreled right into the introduction, he knew how his mom would react, but his dad he wasn't completely sure, "Mom. Dad. This is Castiel Novak, my boyfriend," they both blinked at him, knowing Dean wasn't really one to have 'boyfriends' or 'girlfriends' just one night stands and quick trysts that never lasted more than a week, "Cas. These are my parents. Mary and John Winchester."

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am. Sir." John extended his hand, waiting politely for Cas to take it, Cas, since he was unable to see it, just stood there, arm looped through Dean's eyes staring blankly ahead. John cleared his throat awkwardly and dropped his hand.

Mary frowned at Cas, eyeing him up and down before she said, "Hello Castiel. I'm afraid Dean has been quite secretive about you, so you'll have to tell me all about yourself." Mary glanced over at John and gently touched Cas' shoulder, "Why don't I show you around and you can tell me all the details?"

"I'm afraid you won't be able to show me much." Mary frowned at him while Cas' arm tightened around Dean's, his shoulders squared and he lifted his jaw in that defiant way that Dean absolutely, in no way found adorable and announced, "I'm blind."

"Then we'll make sure you can find your way around here. The way my son dragged you over here mustn't have let you get your bearings." Mary gave Dean a disapproving glare and Dean flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. He had asked Cas how he managed to navigate so well and Cas had explained that he counted his steps until he ran into something, he would make note of it and repeat the process over again.

It was that way that Cas knew from the front door of his apartment it was twenty-three steps to the couch. From the couch, it was eighteen steps to the piano or if he turned ninety degrees to the right, it was thirty steps to the kitchen. Dean was amazed Cas could remember it all, but Cas did have an amazing memory, he remembered anything and everything.

Cas blinked rapidly at Mary's words, surprise and confusion flitting over his face before falling into that politely blank mask. Mary smiled and gently urged Cas to release Dean's arm and take hers in turn, "I used to be a special education teacher."

"Oh." Cas fidgeted in spot and Dean rubbed his back, "Don't worry Cas, my mom will take good care of you."

"Now come on. People are buzzing with curiosity over who managed to steal my baby's heart away." Mary grinned; patted Cas' arm and Cas shot Dean another panicked look.

Dean leaned forward and whispered, "It's okay Cas. I'm not going anywhere."

"I promise I'll bring you back to my son in one piece." Mary said with amusement coloring her voice. Cas nodded, took a deep breath and turned with Mary as she turned him around and said, "We're at the couch and I'm going to walk you towards the kitchen."

As they left Dean heard his mom ask "So. How did you two meet?" Dean watched as they disappeared into the crowd, Cas' ability to multitask shining through as he answered Mary's question and counted his steps.

Dean turned his attention towards his father when John cleared throat and asked, "So not only did you find yourself a very male boyfriend, but he's also blind?" Dean resisted the urge to roll his eyes; he'd only come out to his parents a few months ago. They'd taken it surprisingly well although John still had some issues about it while Mary had been just fine with it, as long as Dean was happy, she was happy.

"Nothing wrong with him being a dude, dad."

"That's not what I have a problem with."

"So you mind that he's blind? That's pretty low dad."

John sighed and rubbed his temple, "Dean, I just don't want you to get caught up in having to take care of him, if you do you're going to lose yourself and everything you've worked for will fall apart. I don't want you giving up your life for him."

"He's not completely helpless dad, he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. And if anything, he helped me find myself. I've never been as happy as I am when I'm with him. And I don't care how chick flick this may sound, because I love him dad! I can't give up my life for him, because he _is_ my life."

John stared at him for a long moment before asking quietly, "And how long have you known him Dean?"

Dean glared at him, sure, he'd only known Cas for about a month now, but there was just _something_ there. He couldn't even try to explain to his dad.

"You don't understand dad..."

"How long?"

"A month."

"See. This is exactly what I'm talking about! You've known him for a month and you're-"

"Don't be a hypocrite dad! I remember the stories you used to tell me and Sammy, how you knew you loved mom after dating her for only a few days, how you guys got married three months after you first met. Don't give me that bullshit."

"Dean that was-"

"What? Different? Because he's a man and I'm a man?"

"You know that's not what I'm saying Dean."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm not going to fight with you about this, not at Jess' party and not when Sam is going to-" Dean stopped, because Sam hadn't told their parents, wanting to be as much a surprise for them as it was for Jess.

"He's going to what?"

"Nothing dad. I'm going to go find my _boyfriend_ and have a decent conversation with him and mom." With that, Dean spun on his heel and marched off across the living room where Mary and Cas were slowly making their way around the room.

Dean paused, watching as Mary said something and Cas grinned at her, Cas replying with something that had Mary throwing her head back and her laughter echoed through the room bringing a smile to Dean's face as he moved to join them.

"And what are you two laughing about?"

Mary grinned over at Dean, "None of your business."

"Is that how it's going to be from now on?"

"You bet your ass it is." Dean opened his mouth to reply with his usual wit and charm but was interrupted by Jess shrieking, causing everyone in the room to either jump or look around; depending on how used they were to Jess.

Jess came barreling out of the kitchen, threw herself onto Dean's back and yelled, "Sam just _proposed_! We're _engaged_!"

Dean patted her foot, "Generally what happens when someone proposes. They're engaged, they get married, have lots of babies."

"This is like...the best birthday _ever_! Castiel Novak is here and Sam proposed! What next? Will I win the lottery?" Dean rolled his eyes as Jess slid off his back and showed the ring to Mary who immediately went about gushing over it, hugging, and crying and whatever else it was girls did.

Dean took Cas' arm in his again, since Mary had abandoned him in her excitement, "You done with your mental mapping yet?"

"Yes, I'm done."

"How would you feel about really making Jess' day complete then?"

"How so?"

"You noticed she has a piano, right?"

Cas hesitated before answering, "Yes, your mother mentioned she gave it to Jessica when Jessica began taking lessons."

"Then how do you feel about playing their song? It would really make it theirs..."

Cas hesitated again, looking like he was weighing the pros and cons before sighing and muttering, "Lead the way." Dean grinned at him.

"Thank you Cas." Dean pressed a kiss to the corner of Cas' mouth, felt Cas lean into his side for a moment before Dean turned away to get Jess' attention.

"Hey, psychopath," Jess rolled her eyes and glared at Dean, "You're not going to ruin this night for me mister."

"Wouldn't dream of it. But Cas here wants to give you his gift." Jess brightened, she grinned and hopped over to Cas, throwing her arm around his neck, "And what is it?"

Dean pushed her away, "We'll need to go into the dining room, so come on, get your future husband and bring him along, it's for both of you." Jess grinned and disappeared while Dean took Cas into the dining room that wasn't used for dining at all. The piano sat along the far wall, it wasn't anything like Cas' grand piano back in his apartment, but was instead an old upright that had been in the Winchester family for as long as Dean could remember.

Mary had given it to Jess to hang on to when Jess had started taking her lessons since Mary no longer had any room for it in her home and she didn't want to get rid of it.

While Dean led Cas over to the piano, Mary dragged a reluctant John behind her, leaving the rest of the crowd trying to get a better look by the door. Some faces he knew, like Bobby and Ellen, along with Jo. Most though, he didn't since they were friends of Jess' and Sam's from college.

"I know it's not as nice as your piano back at your apartment Cas but here it is." Cas simply smiled and shook his head, fingers lightly trailing over the worn wood, "It's more than fine Dean. It has a history, sometimes that makes it even better."

Cas sat himself down, fingers trailing over the keys like he was acquainting himself with a person instead of an object. He played a few notes, made a face and said, "It could be tuned though."

Jess giggled from where she had come to stand beside Dean with Sam, "Yeah, it's been awhile. Hope it's okay."

"It's fine."

"So, what's the present?" Jess asked, eyeing Cas' hands as they continued lightly moving over the keys without actually playing anything.

"I uh..." Cas cleared his throat, fingers twitching nervously, "I wrote you and Sam a song."

Jess made that odd sound again, the mix between scream and squeal and plastered herself along Cas' back, hugging him tight from behind.

"Wow, Cas, that's uh...I don't know what to say." Sam muttered, blushing and scratching at his neck. Dean rolled his eyes, watching as Cas fought to remove Jess. Sam chuckled and shook his head, managing to drag Jess off Cas by saying, "If you want him to play the song you're going to have to quit molesting the guy."

Jess huffed, but leaned back against Sam, Dean leaned against the wall where he could have a clear view of Cas' face as he played. Mary and John were standing on the other side of the piano, Mary watching with interest while John looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here. The rest of the crowd waited patiently as Cas played a few notes experimentally.

Dean just wanted Cas to play again, wanted to hear those beautiful sounds, but Cas was taking his time, acting like he was getting to know the piano, like it had a personality. Hell, maybe according to Cas it did, Dean thought the same of his car, why would Cas be any different with something he loved?

Cas cleared his throat and began to play. It was the same song as earlier, same light and happy tone, same song that made Dean think of bright summer days filled with love and hope. The same kind of summer days Dean had spent as a kid, curled up in his mother's arms, listening as she hummed Beatles songs while he dozed or watched the clouds. He couldn't believe a song could fill him with that feeling again, all that love and contentment.

Dean leaned back against the wall, watching Cas' face as he played, his eyes were closed again, lips slightly parted. He couldn't help the surge of love he felt, Cas had really put effort into this, all for his brother, all to make Sam happy. Which, to Dean, was the best thing you could possibly ever do, because it was always about Sam first, always making sure Sam was happy and safe.

Cas finished the song and everyone stood in silence, it felt like the room was holding its breath

The heavy silence was finally broken by Sam whispering, "Cas..." Sam wiped superstitiously at his eyes, "That was beautiful."

Jess sniffed, wiped her own eyes and elbowed Sam, "You big girl." She ignored Sam's outraged huff, moved to sit beside Cas in front of the piano and pulled him into a hug, whispering, "Thank you so much Castiel. It meant more than you can imagine." She pressed a kiss to his cheek and Cas shifted enough to give her a proper hug.

Mary stepped forward and trailed her hand along the top of the piano, "Will you play something else? I don't think this piano has had anything so beautiful played on it in a _long_ time."

Cas blushed but he nodded because music was where he was most comfortable, and playing the piano was what he loved doing best. Dean sat on the other side of Cas and asked, "Will you play Jimmy's song? That's a nice one."

"Of course." Cas smiled at him and turned his attention to the piano, the familiar sounds of Jimmy's song filling the apartment. Cas spent the next several hours just playing songs for them all, no one seemed to mind, least of all Cas, and Dean for once was able to just sit and listen for more than one or two songs.

Dean managed to finally get Cas to finish up for the night when he started to yawn and keep his eyes closed longer than was strictly necessary when playing the piano. They said their goodbyes, Mary hugging Cas tight and promising to see him later while Jess did her tackle hugging again. Sam shook Cas' hand, thanking him profusely for the song.

Finally, they made it back to Cas' apartment and Dean managed to get Cas undressed while the other man sat on the edge of the bed, half asleep. Dean was surprised by his self-restraint, anyone else and he'd probably be molesting them right about now.

Dean undressed himself and crawled in beside Cas, tucking Cas in along his side and under the covers while Cas sighed happily and nuzzled in close to Dean.

For the first time in probably ever, Dean fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean looked around the empty classroom, confused as to why Cas wasn't here when they had planned to have lunch together today. With a frown he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Cas' number and asking when the line was answered, "Cas? Where are you?"

"It's not Cas, Dean." Jimmy's voice came in over the speaker, sounding about as unhappy as a person could be.

"Jimmy? Why are you answering Cas' phone? Is everything all right? What happened?" Panic set in as Dean turned and hurried for his car. What if something had happened to Cas? Something bad?

"We're at the hospital." _Shit_.

"Hospital? Is Cas alright?" Dean tried to pretend that his voice did not go that high.

"He tripped on something some student left lying around and banged his head pretty hard. They're stitching him up as we speak..."

"Then why aren't you in there with him?" Dean knew he wouldn't leave Cas alone right now, would probably be hovering and worrying and being a general nuisance to everyone.

There was a quiet sigh and Jimmy mumbled, "Gabriel is in there with him, I'm not the best person to be around Cas today."

Gabriel...where had he heard that name before? Oh, right! Cas and Jimmy's elder brother! The trickster guy, "Which hospital, Jimmy?"

"New York Presbyterian Hospital."

"I'll be right there." Thankfully, it was still on the right side of town, depending on the traffic Dean could be there in ten minutes.

Unfortunately, it was New York City he was driving in and it took him thirty minutes to make it to the hospital. He parked, not entirely sure if he was parked in a legal spot or not, but not caring at the moment. He rushed into the waiting room, spotted Jimmy and headed over to him.

"Tell me exactly what happened Jimmy!"

"I already told you Dean. Some student left his case lying around and Cas tripped, he hit his head pretty hard on the edge of the stage. He's with Gabriel inside getting stitched."

"Why aren't you in there with him?"

"Damn. You really are slow on the uptake, aren't you? I already told you this isn't a good day for us to be around each other."

"And why is that?" Dean demanded, he knew he was being annoying and persistent, but this was Cas damnit, and Jimmy and Cas were close. Naturally he'd be wondering why Jimmy wasn't in with Cas, fussing and worrying like Dean wanted to be doing. Dean watched as Jimmy sighed and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, glaring down at the floor like it was all linoleum's fault.

Finally, Jimmy ground out, "It'll be nineteen years today since the accident and, well, we just bring each other unwanted memories."

Dean blinked, not sure what to say. He had no idea today was the day the accident had happened, had he known he might have taken the day off work to spend it with Cas or something. Anything. His and Cas' glum conversation on the phone this morning now made perfect sense.

Cas chose that moment to come out into the waiting room, saving Dean from having to say anything at all.

Cas approached, Faith leading him through the waiting room's chairs and people, a shorter man with slicked back blonde hair was at his side, a smirk firmly in place. Dean instantly disliked him.

Dean rushed over to Cas, hands instantly reaching up to tip Cas' head to the side to examine the bandage along Cas' temple, "Cas! Are you okay?" _Stupid question, Dean,_ "Of course you're not okay."

Cas slapped Dean's hands away from his face and growled out, "I'm just peachy."

"Well Castiel. Where are your manners? Aren't you going to introduce me to your young stallion?" Cas' eyes rolled up to the ceiling as if asking for the patience to continue living, "Gabriel this is Dean. Dean this is my obnoxious brother Gabriel."

"It's the concussion making him say that. He usually worships the ground I walk on." Gabriel grinned up at Dean, pulling a lollipop from his jacket pocket and popping it into his mouth.

"Not even a concussion could make me do that." Cas grumbled.

Gabriel sighed and threw his arm around Cas' shoulders, "My parents tried to replicate my awesomeness, but not even with twins could they get it right. Now I'm stuck with these two."

Cas shrugged Gabriel's shoulder off and ground out, "You mean we're stuck with you," Gabriel gave an exaggerated eye roll while Cas asked, "Where's Jimmy?"

"I'm here Cas." Jimmy whispered and Dean took in the mix of anger, love, relief and disappointment that flashed across Cas' face.

"I'm alright, okay? Don't you worry yourself too much. Might break something and then I'd lose my slave." Cas tried and failed for a light tone, he was too tense for anything to come out anything but strained.

"Now my young padawan, what do you say we ditch the love birds and go out and have some manly fun?" Gabriel broke in before anything else could be said; he grabbed hold of Jimmy's wrist and dragged him up and out of the hard plastic chair.

"Are you planning on taking me to a whore house again?" Jimmy eyed Gabriel warily, looking torn between wanting to go with Gabriel just to get away from Cas, or staying to make sure Cas would be okay.

"Who said anything about whores? I was thinking more along the lines of strippers and booze." Gabriel grinned, and Jimmy sighed before he allowed himself to be dragged out of the waiting room.

An awkward silence fell, which was odd since they hadn't had one of those since the first day they met. They always had something to say to the other now, then again Cas generally wasn't in this kind of mood. Dean didn't know how to handle Cas right now, didn't know what to say or how to act.

"Come on Cas. I'll take you home." Cas nodded and allowed Faith to lead him out of the hospital and to Dean's car, which thankfully hadn't been towed while he'd been inside. They made it back to Cas' apartment without a word spoken between them. Dean kept throwing glances over at Cas but Cas kept his head turned away from Dean, forehead resting against the cool glass of the window.

When they reached Cas' floor Dean reached for the keys Cas had pulled out of his pocket and was reaching for the door to unlock it.

Cas finally snapped when he felt Dean's fingers brushing over his own when Dean went to pull the keys from his hand and open the door for him, "I can open the door myself! I'm not an idiot!"

"Just trying to help," Dean muttered, watching and waiting as Cas opened the apartment door harder than was necessary. They stepped inside and Cas slammed the door shut behind him. He turned and managed to land his glare directly on Dean.

"Well I don't _need_ your help! Nor anyone else's! I can do things by myself, I may be blind but I'm not freakin' useless!" Cas turned and tossed his keys across the apartment.

Dean gave him a moment while Cas knelt down and removed the harness Faith wore, she remained by his side though, gently nudging at his hand while Dean muttered, "I know that Cas."

"Do you? Do you really? Then why does everyone, including yourself, keep treating me like I'm made of porcelain? Like I'm fucking vulnerable?"

"Because you _are_ , Cas! You are vulnerable!" Cas' shoulders hunched, his hands clenched and he lowered his head until his chin was resting on his chest. Dean sighed and took a step forward, intending to pull Cas into a hug, but Cas snapped upright again, glaring once more. Cas might not be able to see, but he could still glare with the best of them.

"Don't you think I know that? I don't need you to remind me every second of my life! I can tell perfectly well by myself just how useless I am!" Cas turned and stalked across the room, Dean saw he was on collision course for the coffee table and jumped forward, trying to grab Castiel before he slammed into it. He was too late though and Cas landed on his hands and knees with a grunt.

" _God damnit_." Cas lashed out with his hand, fist connecting with the table with a loud _crack_. Dean winced, hoping Cas hadn't just broken his hand.

"Cas-" Dean put his hand on Cas' shoulder, only to have it shrugged off.

"Get your hands _off_ of me! I'm not a freakin' damsel in distress! I'm _blind_ and I don't need to be reminded of it by you! I get it every time I open my eyes in the morning and don't see a fucking thing! I get it by the pity in everyone's voice when they realize it. I get it when I get hurt by tripping over things that are in the way. I get it when someone tells me to look at something, before remembering that I _can't_." Cas took a deep breath and moved until he was sitting on the floor, back against the couch, his eyes squeezed shut.

"I get it by the fact that I can't even remember what most colors look like anymore. Or how my brothers look now. I get it by the guilt I feel from Jimmy when he's around me. And I fucking get it from the fact that I'll never be able to see another sunset or the sea or the sun shining in the trees. I get it from the fact that I love you and I don't even know what you _look like_!" A sob wrenched out of Cas, a few tears escaping from his tightly clenched eyes.

"And I never will. Because I'm blind. So I don't need you to fucking remind me of it!" Dean waited a few minutes, letting Cas catch his breath. When Dean was sure Cas wouldn't immediately explode at him again he inched forward, crouching down and making as much noise as he possibly could to let Cas know where he was and that he was going to in his personal bubble soon.

When Dean's hand wasn't shrugged off when he placed it on Cas' shoulder he sat himself down and pulled Cas onto his lap, pushing Cas' face against his shoulder and wrapping him up in his arms. Cas was silent and tense for a moment before he curled into Dean, one arm going around Dean's neck while the other remained pressed between them, Cas' hand fisting Dean's t-shirt.

"I _hate_ this." Cas whispered, Dean shushed him and simply rubbed his back as Cas shook with his sobs, wetting Dean's shirt and neck but Dean really didn't care. He didn't know how long they sat there, Cas' sobs quieted to just a steady stream of tears and hiccups while Dean never let up on gently rubbing Cas' back.

When Cas' hiccups subsided and his breathing turned from the hitching gasps to a smooth, even breathing Dean figured Cas had worn himself out. Dean shifted until he was lying down, pulled a few of the couch cushions down onto the floor along with the blanket there and situated everything until they were at least semi-comfortable. Dean would have to wake Cas up in a few hours because of his concussion but until then he could just lie here and let Cas snore into his shoulder and think about what Cas had said.

He had no idea Cas had felt like that, he hid it so well behind his walls and masks, protecting himself and his brothers from everything. The awkwardness of the accident and today being the anniversary of the other accident had probably brought everything up from the depths, and today had obviously been the breaking point.


	7. Chapter 7

"Cas?" Dean gently shook Cas; he'd moved him from the floor in the living room to his bed. It was proof to how deep a sleeper Cas was when Cas hadn't even woken up at all with the movement.

Cas shifted a little and pulled a pillow over his head, "Go 'way."

Dean took the pillow from over Cas' head and shook him again, "Come on man, what's my name?"

"Satan?" Was the grumbled reply.

"Come on Cas, I'm serious."

"So am I. Let me sleep."

"Castiel Aiden Novak!"

Cas huffed out a sigh, rolled over until his back was to Dean, "Don't you give me that middle name bullshit." Dean let out a long sigh, rubbed a hand over his eyes and glared at the back of Cas' head.

"I'll withhold sex."

"You wouldn't. You want it more than me." Cas pulled the blanket up to his chin this time.

"Cas..." Dean tugged the blanket down and Cas let out a growl and rolled over again until he was sprawled over Dean's chest. He tugged the blanket up over them again and settled down. Dean sighed and poked his side, "C'mon Cas."

"Fine. Dean _Satan_ Winchester. Now. Go. _Away_."

"Kind of hard with you lying on top of me."

"Then just shut up. I'm not picky." Cas mumbled, nuzzling into Dean's neck.

"What's your name?"

"Gee. Forgot it already? And we haven't even had sex...I'm hurt."

Dean sighed and closed his eyes; Cas could be such a prissy little bitch when he wanted to be, "God, why must you punish me so? Fine. When's your birthday?"

"August 21st. So I expect a big present." Cas lifted his head enough to be able to bite at Dean's neck and wiggled his hips a little.

Dean chuckled, patted Cas' hip, "Oh Cas, I've had no complaints so far."

Cas dropped his head back down and sighed; "Who's the smartass, now?"

"You're rubbing off on me."

Cas chuckled, wiggled his hips again, "Honey, you would have known if I had rubbed anything on you."

"You're a cocky little thing." Dean muttered, trying to remind himself that now was not the time for sex, no matter how tempting Cas was making it by wiggling his hips and shifting into the right kind of position.

"I can assure you my cock is anything but little." Cas mumbled, Dean could feel him smiling against his neck as a thigh was nudged in between Dean's.

Dean sighed, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He managed to count to ten before saying, "Whatever you say Cas, what city are you in?"

Cas let loose with a big yawn, rubbed his nose against Dean's neck and muttered, "Since you're Satan...this must be hell."

"I give up." Dean muttered, closing his eyes.

"Good, can I go back to sleep now?"

"Please do." Cas hummed happily and his breathing evened out instantly, leaving Dean no choice but to be his pillow for however long Dean could handle it.

When Dean woke up it was dark outside and his stomach was letting him know he'd skipped out on breakfast _and_ lunch and was demanding dinner. Cas had rolled off him sometime during the day and was snoring quietly into his pillow, arms wrapped around it while his legs splayed everywhere. Dean chuckled, shook his head, and adjusted the blankets until they covered up Cas' feet before he rolled out of bed and headed into the kitchen to see what was edible.

Dean was about halfway done with making some rice and chili from a can when Cas came shuffling into the kitchen, sniffing and rubbing at his eyes.

"Food?"

"Eloquent as always Cas."

Cas grunted and plopped down into a chair, "Bite me."

"Well, if you ask nicely," Faith came trotting into the kitchen and settled her head on Cas' thigh; his hand automatically went to her head while Cas aimed a glare in Dean's general direction.

Dean turned back to the food on the stove and paused when Cas sighed, "Dean...I," Cas cleared his throat and shifted around in his chair, "I want to apologize for-"

Dean sighed and moved to stand in front of Cas, "Stop it Cas."

"But-"

"No. You were right, okay? You may be blind, but you can take care of yourself. I guess we do tend to baby you."

Cas raised an eyebrow at him, "You guess?"

"Fine. We do tend to baby you, but it's," Dean hesitated and tried not to fidget in place too much, Cas had managed to pinpoint his location and those blue eyes were staring up at him, "It's only because we love you."

"Dean-"

"Oh screw it! I love you Cas, okay? I really do. So _excuse me_ if I want to make sure I don't lose the person I can't live without!"

"Dean-"

"I just want to make sure you don't get hurt and-"

" _Dean_!" Dean shut up, crossed his arms, glared down at Cas and snapped, "What?"

"I love you too."

Dean blinked, frowned, "What?" He knew this wasn't the first time those words had been muttered to each other, but he didn't think throwing them in while arguing or saying to other people really counted.

"You know, I thought I was the one who banged his head. 'Cause despite everything I'm pretty sure I already told you I did." Dean sat down in the chair next to Cas and turned to face him, Cas shifted until he was facing Dean as well, their knees pressed together.

"You did. I just wasn't sure you meant it." Cas reached up, hand searching until his fingers brushed along Dean's cheek. He fitted his palm to the curve of Dean's jaw and whispered, "I meant it. And I always will. I love you, Dean Winchester."

Dean couldn't help the dopey grin that spread over his face as he leaned forward and kissed Cas. He felt Cas smile against his lips, kissed him again and was all for crawling into Cas' lap and under his skin and staying there forever.

Cas pulled away a little, thumb brushing the corner of Dean's mouth, "Dean?"

Dean stopped trying push forward to kiss Cas again, "Hmm?"

"The food."

"Oh crap!" Dean shot up out of the chair, ignored Cas' laughter as he examined the burnt disaster that was supposed to be their dinner. Dean sighed and turned towards Cas and asked, "Well, Cas...Chinese or Italian?"

Cas laughed again and handed Dean the phone, "Chinese sounds good."

Dean ordered the food and they moved into the living room to wait, Dean was all for more kissing but Cas seemed content to sit on the couch, leaning into Dean's side while his hands played and tugged with Faith's soft ears.

"How long have you had her?"

Cas hummed in thought, fingers stroking the dog's head, "Seven years now I think. I had a Golden Retriever before, but she got old and needed to retire. I still visit with her sometimes." Dean smiled and opened his mouth to ask more but Cas interrupted with, "Food's here."

Dean frowned and looked towards the door, "I didn't hear-" The doorbell rang.

"You know, one day I'm going to figure out how you do that." Dean muttered, ignoring Cas' grin as he stood and answered the door. They ate quietly, the TV on in the background on some show that Dean wasn't paying attention to, he was too busy being frustrated by Cas' teasing at not being able to use chopsticks.

"I'm blind and even I can use them."

"Oh shut up and eat your noodles." Dean remained on the couch, watching as Cas cleaned up their food and put the leftovers away, when Cas returned to the couch Dean asked, "Hey Cas, do you remember our bet?"

"What bet?"

"The one where you said I wouldn't last an hour blindfolded."

Cas nodded as he plopped back down onto the couch, "Yeah. What about it?"

"Just thinking I could use that money to finance my expensive boyfriend."

He chuckled as Cas flipped him off, "And what? You want to do it now?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"Are you sure?"

"Cas..." Cas sighed, rolled his eyes, "Fine. Go get something for me to blindfold you with." Dean hopped off the couch and headed into Cas' room and into his closet; he'd seen some ties hanging the day before, one of those would be fine.

Dean picked out a darker colored tie, headed back out to Cas, and handed it over. Cas stood and let Dean guide his hands up until the tie was pressed to Dean's eyes. Cas leaned forward and tied it around Dean's head, his lips brushing against Dean's cheek.

Dean blinked into the darkness, his world suddenly off kilter, "So this is how it is for you..."

Cas hummed, pressed a kiss to Dean's temple and whispered, "Every single day, only I can't take mine off." Cas pulled away a little and Dean leaned forward until his nose bumped against Cas', it was probably the most ungraceful kiss Dean had ever given, but he couldn't see where the hell he was going for crying out loud.

Cas chuckled quietly when Dean stepped back, unsure of what to do now, "How about you teach me how to do this?"

"Okay, but no cheating!"

Dean scoffed, "I would never!" Cas snorted and called for Faith to heel. Dean heard her nails clicking over the hardwood floors, heard her sniff at Cas and that was it. Dean had no idea where she was or where Cas was in relation to him. Hell he couldn't even remember where the couch and coffee table were in comparison to him. This was turning out to be harder than he'd imagined.

Dean heard something click open and recognized it as Cas' cane. Cas' hand found Dean's and the handle was placed into his palm, "Now, you extend it in front of you," Cas maneuvered Dean's hand until it was in front of him and at about waist level, "And then sweep the cane back and forth in an arc wide enough to go slightly to your left and slightly to your right."

Dean nodded and moved the cane to his right; he stopped when Cas' hand returned to his, "No. Don't drag it. Instead tap the ground every few inches, or else it can get stuck in cracks or holes."

Dean nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up a little, "Okay. I think I've got it."

"You sure?"

"It's a cane, not rocket science." Dean muttered, Cas hummed and Dean could just _see_ the amused smile Cas would be shooting at him.

"If you're sure, by all means...go right ahead." Cas released his hand and Dean heard him take a few steps back. Dean sighed, took a deep breath and moved the cane around in front of him like Cas had instructed, he took a step forward and immediately plowed into the coffee table.

"Ouch, shit!"

Cas chuckled from behind him, "And that's ten dollars for me."

"Greedy bastard."

"Sore loser."

"The bet isn't over yet."

"As if you'll last a whole hour." Cas couldn't have sounded more smug if he'd tried.

"We'll see..."

"Well Honey," the tone to Cas' voice put Dean on high alert, it was the same kind of tone he used when he was about to tease Dean mercilessly, "You did drink a lot at dinner. What will you do when you have to go to the bathroom?"

"I hate you right now." Dean muttered, scowling down at his hands.

"No. You love me." Cas' voice came from directly behind him, causing Dean to jump a little and spin around, once again turning his world around; he had no freaking idea where he was in the apartment.

"I do too," Dean took the blindfold off and tossed it onto the touch, "And that's why I'm letting you win."

"Yeah. You keep telling yourself that chicken shit." Cas grinned up at him and took the cane from Dean's hands, folding it up quicker and much more smoothly than Dean would ever be able to do.

Dean scoffed, "I'll tell you who the chicken shit is!" And tackled Cas to the ground. Cas let out a surprised shout as he landed on the floor with a _thud_ , grunted when Dean landed on top of him and shrieked when Dean's fingers found Cas' ticklish spots.

Dean paused a moment later, letting Cas catch his breath, "Do you give up?"

"No!"

Dean grinned and went right back to tickling him. Cas squirmed and wiggled, trying to get away as he pushed at Dean's hands.

Cas only lasted a few minutes before he shouted, "Alright! Alright, uncle! Uncle!"

Dean stopped and grinned down at him, letting his hands trail gently along Cas' sides, Cas twitched a little, pushed at his hands again and Dean just stopped and stared. Cas' cheeks were flushed pink from his laughter, his eyes were bright and his smile was wide enough to cause his nose to scrunch up in a way that Dean loved. Dean almost blurted out how amazing Cas looked right then, but he stopped himself in time from sounding like a gigantic girl. Cas blinked a few times, frowned and asked, "What? Why are you staring?"

Instead of answering, Dean kissed him. It was a damn sight better than the one he'd given Cas while blindfolded. When he pulled back Cas' eyes were a little glazed, but the frown had smoothed out and had been replaced with a dopey little smile.

Dean smiled, kissed him again and whispered, "I love you Cas."

Cas grinned and pulled Dean back down, pressing kisses to his cheeks, forehead and finally lips. Dean shifted until he was in a more comfortable position over Cas, and enjoyed the little whimpers and hitches in Cas' breath when he kissed and nipped in just the right places.

Cas shifted a little and spread his thighs enough for Dean to fall between them, fitting there like it was where he was meant to be all along.

"I'm not going to do this on your living room floor Cas."

Cas groaned and hooked a leg around Dean's hips, "Oh I don't care."

"I care Cas, not on the floor." Cas sighed and leaned back, eyes falling shut. Dean watched as Cas seemed to struggle with something internally, almost worried that he'd ruined the moment before Cas pushed him off and whispered, "Okay. Bed then."

Dean nodded and stood; he helped Cas up and watched as Cas headed down the hallway and into the bedroom. Dean hesitated before turning off some of the lights and checking to make sure the door was locked before following Cas.

Dean eased the bedroom door shut as Cas stood awkwardly by the bed, looking unsure as to what he was doing.

"Cas we don't have to do this if you don't want to." Dean muttered, moving to stand beside him. Cas shook his head and turned towards Dean, resting a hand on his shoulder, "No, I want to Dean. It's just...it's been awhile is all."

"How long is awhile?" Cas smiled thinly, moved his hands down to Dean's hips and slid his fingers up under Dean's shirt, "Not long enough for me to forget how to do it, if that's what you're wondering." Dean chuckled and lifted his arms up as Cas slid his shirt up and off.

Dean stood quietly as Cas' fingers trailed along his chest, down along his sides and across his stomach, the gentle touch making Dean twitch and squirm. Cas smiled lightly, leaned forward until his lips were pressed against Dean's shoulder. He dragged his lips over to Dean's collarbone, bit gently and whispered, "In my head, you're the most beautiful person I know."

"Don't say shit like that Cas."

"Why? Because it's sappy? It's true though Dean." Cas moved and pressed his lips to Dean's neck.

"'Cause I'm not a girl, girls are beautiful, guys are...are-" Dean lost his train of thought as Cas bit down gently, sucking a mark onto Dean's neck.

"Handsome then. You're very handsome Dean." Cas muttered when he pulled away, Dean snorted and took his own turn pulling Cas' shirt off.

"Not as much as you are Cas," Cas snorted and Dean could see his eyes roll in the darkened room, "Don't believe me?"

"Dean, the last time I saw myself I was seventeen. I was lanky and awkward, I have no idea what I look like now."

"Well, I promise you don't look lanky and awkward now." Cas snorted again and Dean ran his thumb over Cas' lips, "You're hot Cas, believe me." Cas sighed as Dean cupped Cas' cheek, thumb brushing his cheekbone. Cas hummed and leaned into Dean's hand, "Alright, I believe you."

Dean pushed at Cas' chest lightly until he took a step back and sat on the edge of the bed. Dean kept pushing lightly and Cas inched back onto the bed until his back was resting against the pillows. Cas' eyes closed when Dean straddled his thighs, mirroring the position Cas had been in when he'd been 'seeing' Dean.

"You've got the bluest eyes I've ever seen Cas," Dean whispered, lightly trailing his fingers over Cas' eyelids, Cas hummed quietly and relaxed back into the pillows. Dean leaned forward and kissed his cheeks, "And you think I've got a pretty mouth? Too bad you can't see yours."

"Jimmy says we've got pillow lips." Cas muttered, smiling. Dean snorted and gently bit down on Cas' full bottom lip, "His words, not mine then."

"Can we stop talking about Jimmy now?"

"You brought him up dude."

"Shut up and keep going." Dean chuckled and moved his mouth down to Cas' neck, "And your neck, I just wanna bite it."

Cas squirmed when Dean lightly dragged his teeth along the sensitive skin there; he bit down on the curve where shoulder met neck and Cas' hips bucked up against Dean's.

"Remembering that for later." Cas huffed and slid his hands up along Dean's back, "Are you going to tease me all night or are you going to get on with it soon?"

"Someone's impatient."

"And if someone doesn't hurry up, he's about to get nothing."

That was all the motivation Dean needed to flip Cas over, tugging his pajama pants down and out of the way, Cas kicked them off with a happy hum and waited patiently on his stomach while Dean quickly removed the rest of his own clothes.

"Nakedness, finally." Cas muttered when he heard the zipper on Dean's pants lowering. Dean snorted and kicked everything off and instantly laid himself along Cas' back. Cas tensed a little and Dean kissed the back of his neck, "I'll take care of you Cas, don't worry."

Cas tensed further at Dean's words and his back arched up a little like he was getting ready to throw Dean off him.

"Cas?" Cas hesitated then pushed back against Dean, "Can I...not like this Dean, please." Dean frowned but lifted himself enough for Cas to turn over onto his back. Dean opened his mouth to ask what that had been about, but Cas wrapped his legs around Dean's waist and pulled him down until they were pressed together.

All coherent thought left Dean at that point.


	8. Chapter 8

"How did you get this?" Dean asked quietly, fingers trailing over the scar he'd noticed earlier above Cas' hip. Cas shifted a little, running his own fingers over the slightly raised line of skin, "In the accident. A shard of glass embedded itself there."

"Oh," Dean hesitated then moved his hand to Cas' back and along his shoulder blade where the scars were thin and white with age, hardly noticeable, "And these?"

"I...I don't really want to talk about it." Cas muttered, shifting until his back was pressed tighter to Dean's chest, making Dean remove his hand from between them. Dean sighed and rested his chin on Cas' shoulder, watching as Cas closed his eyes.

"Cas," Dean rested his hand low on Cas' belly, letting his thumb rub soothing circles over the soft skin there, "Please let me in. I swear I won't judge you."

Cas hesitated, chewed on his lip before whispering, "His name was...is...Lucifer."

Dean kissed Cas' shoulder and muttered, "It's okay. You can tell me."

"After the accident, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me. I thought no one could ever love me again. I was damaged goods." Cas said, his voice low and sad.

"You know that's not true, Cas." Dean whispered, pressing his lips against Cas' shoulder again.

"I know that now, but back then I believed it with all my heart. So when Lucifer came along and told me he loved me..."

"You believed it." Dean closed his eyes and pulled Cas tighter against his chest.

"Yeah. He was charming and caring, at least at first. He took me out to dinner and he always acted like I wasn't blind. I liked that. It made me feel normal."

"What happened?"

"I realized that it wasn't just the name he had in common with the devil," Cas muttered and fell silent. Dean gave him a moment but when Cas didn't continue, he pressed his fingers into Cas' stomach, bringing him out of his silence.

"The first time it happened. The first time he hit me, I thought it was my fault," Dean frowned but didn't interrupt, "We went to his company's annual meeting and everyone important was there, and I...I spilled my glass of champagne on the director's suit. The director made no fuss about it, saying he understood, but when we got home..." Cas trailed off with a sigh.

"He hit you." Cas nodded and Dean urged himself to remain calm, this was Cas' time to explain, he didn't need Dean blowing up in his rage at someone.

"Punched me right in the face. Told me I had embarrassed him and ruined any chances he ever had of getting promoted, so I really did believe I deserved it." Cas whispered, resting one of his hands over Dean's. Dean took hold of it and twined their fingers together, waiting silently for Cas to continue.

"He later apologized to me. Took me out for a walk and said that he would take care of me. That it would never happen again." Dean closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Cas' shoulder, would probably explain Cas' hesitance at Dean's words. Dean didn't even want to think about why Cas wouldn't want to be on his stomach.

"But it did." Dean said instead.

"Yes, it got worse too. Sometimes I had to call in sick to work, even though I couldn't see the bruises I certainly could feel them," Dean squeezed Cas' hand and resisted the urge to go out and find Lucifer and murder the bastard.

"The neighbors grew suspicious and sometimes called the police, but the fact that I was blind along with Lucifer's charm was enough to keep them from investigating further. A few times he landed me in the hospital, he always played the role of the caring boyfriend whose _blind_ boyfriend was just too clumsy for his own good, so they never asked any questions," Cas hesitated, he shifted against Dean and his fingers tightened their hold, "But you know what the worst part is? I always believed he was right. That it was my own fault. I was flawed and he was doing me a favor of sticking with me."

Cas fell silent and Dean sighed, he had to know, he needed to know if he should press Cas into doing something about this, "Did he ever-"

"What? Rape me?" Dean hesitated and nodded.

"Is it still considered rape if I don't say no?"

"Cas-"

"He always wanted me lying on my stomach and the one time I complained about it he beat me and told me it wouldn't make any difference, since I wouldn't see a thing either way."

Cas fell silent and Dean moved away enough to be able to trail his fingers along the scars on Cas' back again, "What about these?"

Cas sighed, "I like it a little rough, believe it or not. I don't mind mixing a little pain and pleasure, and Lucifer...he, well, he was kinky. He liked to use toys and what not."

"He whipped you?" Dean frowned and stilled his fingers from where they were trailing along Cas' shoulders, Dean could see Cas being into some of that stuff from how he acted and talked, but whipping and some of the more hardcore BDSM stuff he couldn't imagine Cas being comfortable with. Especially since he was blind and wouldn't know exactly what was going on around him.

"I didn't mind it at first, he wasn't too bad about it."

"I'm guessing that didn't last."

"No, of course not. He took a liking to it and started using it outside the bedroom as well. To teach me a lesson when I did something that displeased him." Cas shifted until he was facing Dean, he rested his arm over Dean's waist and Dean waited for him to continue. When Cas didn't say anything else Dean asked, "What made you get rid of him?"

"Jimmy and Gabriel were already suspicious that something was wrong, but one day he took it way too far. He was too rough, didn't listen when I told him to stop. Those scars you saw, he whipped me and left me lying in my own blood," Dean bit his lip to keep from cursing, if he ever saw Lucifer in person he'd toss the asshole in jail without a second though, "Luckily my brothers chose that day for a surprise visit. They took me to the hospital and eventually we managed to get a restraining order on him."

"How come he didn't go to trial?"

"Why do you think? He told the police it wasn't him, that in the midst of the beating I must have confused the voices. A blind man's testimony against the CEO of one the biggest companies in this city? I didn't stand a chance, I was lucky to have gotten the restraining order and that was only because the judge pitied me."

Dean sighed and pressed a kiss to Cas' forehead, "You know I'll never, ever do that to you, right? No matter how pissed off I get at you, I'll never hit you. I'd rather cut off my hand first."

"I know Dean. One of the reasons why I love you," Cas smiled gently and trailed his fingers along Dean's cheek, "Now, can we please stop talking about him?

Dean noticed how Cas refused to say Lucifer's name, but didn't bother bringing it up, "Okay Cas. What do you want to talk about?"

"How about...what you're going to do to me once you're up for another round?" Cas smirked at him and Dean rolled his eyes, of course, Cas would shove everything back and act like they didn't just have a deep conversation worthy of a Lifetime movie.

"How about we sleep first?"

"You seriously want to sleep when we could be having sex?" Dean snorted then grunted when Cas shoved him over and straddled his waist. Dean stared up at him, hands resting on those delicious hips, "Well..."

Cas lifted himself into position and waited, "Are you _sure_ you want to sleep?"

Dean groaned and wiggled his own hips, "Jesus Cas, just get on with it already."

Cas chuckled, lowered himself down with his own groan, "I thought you wanted to sleep."

"Really Cas? You're talking about sleep _now_ when I've got my-" Cas rolled his hips in such a way that had Dean choking on his words and moaning instead.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Cas muttered, grinning down at Dean.

Much later in the night, closer to morning than night, Dean jolted out of his slumber to the sound of the front door bursting open. Cas grumbled beside him but didn't wake up, Dean sat up, body aching in all sorts of pleasant ways from the night's activities; he fought a grin as he looked back down to Cas who was sprawled out over the bed like a giant starfish.

Dean shook his head and turned his attention back to the sounds coming from down the hall, judging by the giggling going on he didn't have to worry about it being a break in.

"Gabriel! Shhh!" And that would be Jimmy.

"I'm not the one making noise you knucklehead!" And there was Gabriel.

Another giggle, "You said knucklehead."

"Lord, give me patience!"

"Gabriel and patience are not syn...synonona...whatever. It doesn't happen."

"That's because between you and Cas I have none left."

There was the sound of something crashing to floor, Jimmy cackling and saying, "You never had any to begin with Gabe."

Gabriel snorted and muttered, "I had my awesomeness to make up for it."

"You're not awesome. You're obnoxious."

"And you're drunk."

"Tell me something I don't know genius."

"I once made you eat crap by telling you it was chocolate."

There was a long silence and then Dean heard Jimmy mumble, "When I need to puke, I'm doing it all over your shoes."

"Watch it kiddo. Or I'll make you buy me a new pair. 'Cause big brother duty ends where the puking begins."

"You shouldn't say shit like that then. I hold no 'sponsability over my stomach right now."

"You shouldn't ask questions like that then. And you never have any control over it!"

Another silence and then Jimmy mumbled, "Just like I had no control over the car."

"Oh Jimmy, you need to stop blaming yourself kiddo."

"Cas still blames me." They were right outside Cas' bedroom door now, leaning against the wall from the sounds of it.

"He does not." Gabriel growled, there was a thump not too far down the hallway, Jimmy giggled again and Gabriel grunted.

"Does too! He tries not to, but he does. I'd blame me too!"

"Castiel loves you Jimmy."

"I never said he didn't. I jus' said he blamed me."

"Okay kiddo...let's get you in bed."

"Without buying me dinner first?"

"Hey! That's my line!"

"Finders keepers!" Jimmy snorted and giggled again.

Cas sighed from beside Dean, rolled over and shouted, "Some of us are trying to sleep assbutts!"

The door burst open then, Jimmy stumbled through it and face planted on the bed by Cas' feet, "Cassie! You're awake!"

"I am now."

"Oh shit...you're naked too. Hi Dean!"

"Dean, what are you doing in my baby brother's bed?" Dean looked up to see Gabriel glaring down at him from the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

"I think he's stealing his inno...incense...that ain't right. Inno...what we talked about before." Jimmy mumbled moving around on the bed until he was lying across Cas' legs.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I have none to get stolen! Now get out of my room and let me sleep!" Cas snapped, kicking at Jimmy under the blankets. Jimmy whined and wrapped himself around Cas' legs, eyes sliding shut. Dean estimated he had about two minutes before Jimmy was passing out.

Gabriel sighed and walked further into the room, "We'll talk about this in the morning Winchester," Gabriel grabbed Jimmy's arm and started to haul him upright "Come on Jimbo! Up, up and away." Jimmy clung to Cas' legs still, only letting go when Cas kicked them loose.

"You're short," Jimmy mumbled, falling over into Gabriel's arms.

"And you're stupid, but you don't see me complaining about it."

"Funny too."

"Yeah, yeah...I'm freaking hilarious." Gabriel let out a long sigh and hauled Jimmy out of the room, slamming the door shut behind them.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean woke up in the morning to an empty bed, which never really happened in all the times he'd slept over in the few months he and Cas had been dating. Dean stretched out, enjoying the pull of muscles he hadn't used in quite some time, his back popped and toes curled into the mattress before he collapsed back into the pillows and blankets.

He was prepared to continue lying there and just wait for Cas to come back, maybe make some time for a round three, when he heard the quiet sounds of the piano playing in the living room. Dean smiled and rolled out of the bed, pulled on a decent amount of clothing and quietly made his way into the living room. Cas was at the piano as usual, but Gabriel was sitting off to the side in a chair, fingers plucking gently at the guitar situated in his lap.

Dean crept into the living room and stood quietly, listening to the two brother's play, he'd never imagined a guitar could sound that good alongside a piano, but they made it work somehow.

"Good morning Dean," Cas muttered when the song ended.

Dean eyed him and said, "You're totally a psychic. We're going to test you one day." Cas simply smiled at him while Gabriel turned and gave him the stink eye, "Winchester. Why don't you help me with breakfast?" Dean blinked at him; he knew that tone of voice, the one that said _I'm just getting you alone and away from my brother so I can torture information out of you_.

"Gabriel..." Cas sighed, and made to stand up; Gabriel put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down, "Don't worry Cassie. I won't break your boy toy. Besides...I thought I taught you to share." Cas glared up at him, smacked at Gabriel when Gabriel pressed a kiss to Cas' forehead, then Gabriel was turning towards Dean with a grin.

Gabriel took Dean's arm and led him towards the kitchen, and behind them Cas began playing the _Jaws_ theme song.

"That's not helping Cas!" Dean shouted, Cas' cackle was his only answer.

Gabriel and Dean entered the kitchen in silence; Dean stood by while Gabriel got pots and pans out and went about making breakfast.

When Gabriel continued to not say anything Dean said, " _So_..." Gabriel glared over at him and kept going about making breakfast, pulling eggs, bacon and milk from the fridge and pancake mix from the pantry. Dean stood by and watched, he had never realized that someone so much shorter than himself could be so intimidating and Gabriel was pulling it off without a hitch.

"Castiel has had a hard life, he's been through more than you can imagine." Gabriel said lowly, putting the bacon in one pan and mixing the pancake batter in a bowl.

"I know..." Dean muttered, Gabriel turned to face him, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"He told you?"

"About Lucifer?" Gabriel nodded, "Yeah, he did."

"Huh...Guess you might not be so bad for him after all." Gabriel muttered, turning back to the stove.

"Glad you approve."

"Who said anything about approval?"

"Look...I have a younger brother as well, so I know how you feel-"

Gabriel turned back towards him again, spatula raised as if to smack Dean across the head with it, "Do you now?"

"I do. And if I ever were in your situation, I would want to give the guy the third degree as well. But before you do, I want you to know that I love your brother. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Gabriel snorted, wiped some imaginary tears from under his eyes, "Well, isn't that sweet? But let me tell that if you hurt him-"

"You'll castrate me with a spoon."

"Yup. And then shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to blow yourself," Dean blinked, Gabriel glared and brandished the spatula again, "Got it?"

"Yeah."

The hard, intimidating look disappeared and was replaced with a smile and mischievous grin, "Good! Now why don't you go get Cassie while I get Jimmy up?" Dean watched as Gabriel took hold of two lids from the pans on the stove, marched down the hallway and started banging them together and shouted, "Rise and shine princess!"

A few minutes later the four of them were gathered around the table, plates in front of them. Jimmy was rubbing his forehead and groaning at every loud noise, some of which Gabriel did on purpose, but stopped when Cas smacked him upside the head and told him to knock it off.

"What song were you two playing this morning?" Dean asked, interrupting what looked to be Gabriel building up to a rant about older brothers being allowed to torment their younger siblings while they were hungover.

"None in particular, we were just improvising." Gabriel said around a mouthful of syrup-drowned pancake.

"Dude, seriously?"

"Yeah. Did you like it?"

"It was awesome! I never thought a guitar could play along so well with a piano."

"I'm just awesome that way," Gabriel shot Dean a smug grin which had both Jimmy and Cas rolling their eyes, "But if you liked that, you should listen to these two improvising! Twin sync really does come through."

Gabriel hesitated, looking between the two before saying, "In fact, why don't you two play a bit. I haven't heard you playing together since...Damn! I can't even remember."

Cas rolled his eyes, reached out until his hand was resting against Jimmy's cheek, it moved up to his forehead from there and Jimmy let out a groan, leaning his head into the touch, "Gabriel, Jimmy's hungover. He's in no condition to play."

"Sure he is!"

"You just want to torture him." Castiel kicked at Gabriel's shins underneath the table.

"And you-"

"I'll play if you do Cas." Jimmy muttered, moving away from Cas' hand and pulling his cup full of coffee closer.

Cas returned his attention to the food in front of him, fiddled with his fork and knife, "I-"

"Come on Cas. Let me see what you've got," Dean nudged Cas' shoulder with his own.

"I thought I already showed it to you last night."

"Yeah, yeah...you're a big stallion," Jimmy choked on his coffee, "Now get your ass on the piano and play me a song."

"Look who's bossy now." Cas grinned, nudging Dean with his knee.

"You know you like it."

Cas threw his hand to his forehead; fell to the side so he was leaning against Dean, "Oh Dean! You make me all tingly and itchy inside," he aimed his eyes up towards Dean's and bat his eyelashes, "Can I borrow your cock to scratch it?"

Dean nearly lost it there, but managed to get out, "Wouldn't want you to choke yourself."

"Wasn't an issue last night." Cas muttered, grinning and winking up at him. Dean coughed and Jimmy shouted, "Hey! Mind doing that in private?"

"We're not doing anything...yet." Cas said, turning his innocent grin towards Jimmy. Jimmy sighed, shook his head, grabbed Cas' hand, and tugged him up out of the kitchen chair, "C'mon pervert, these two want a show."

"You sure you're up for it?"

"Yes! Go sit down, I'll get my cello." Cas sighed and did as Jimmy said while Jimmy disappeared into his room. Gabriel and Dean shrugged and followed Cas into the living room. Jimmy returned with his instrument and situated himself by the piano in the chair Gabriel had been occupying when Dean had woken up in the morning. Dean stood behind Cas, leaning against the wall so he would be able to have a clear view of those hands moving over the keys, Gabriel stood beside him with a small smile on his face.

Cas waited patiently while Jimmy situated himself and tuned his cello then said, "Alright Cas, give me something to work with."

Cas cracked his knuckles, played a few notes, made a face and shook his head.

"C'mon Cas, we used to do this sort of thing all the time." Cas shot Jimmy a scowl, and began playing a quick melody, Jimmy listened for a few seconds, eyes closed and brow furrowed before he positioned his fingers on the strings and joined Cas in playing.

The song sounded almost sad, especially with the way Jimmy was playing his own notes, low and long while Cas kept his own notes down on the deeper end instead of using the usually light and happy melodies he was known for.

For it being improvisation, they worked amazingly well together. Dean crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, watching with a small smile as the two played. He glanced over at Gabriel and saw the other man quickly wipe at his eyes.

"Dude...are you crying?"

"What? _No_. My allergies are acting up." Gabriel glared up at him, crossed his own arms and returned his attention to the twins.

" _Sure_ they are." Dean muttered, smirking when Gabriel glared up at him again. Gabriel sighed and turned his attention back to Jimmy and Cas, his expression softening and sad smile tugged at his lips.

"You know...this is the first time they've played together since the accident," Dean looked over at Gabriel, eyebrows raised in question, "They used to be like two halves of the same whole, but after the accident it was like they broke and just didn't fit together anymore, like a piece was missing or something. It's been hurting them both, but they haven't been able to fully let it go...I'm glad it's starting to change."

Dean frowned, torn between listening to the song that was growing in volume or paying attention to what Gabriel had to say, "What do you mean?"

"In our family, music is the way we talk to one another. They're basically apologizing to each other."

Dean frowned and looked back towards the twins; Jimmy's eyes were focused on Cas while Cas had his own closed. Gabriel leaned closer to Dean and whispered, "You can't hear it?"

"Not really."

"Jimmy's saying he's sorry, saying he never meant to hurt Cas. He's asking for forgiveness."

"And Cas?"

"He's apologizing too, saying he understands, that he loves Jimmy."

"You're seriously getting all that from their music?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows, all he heard was the notes, not sure how Gabriel or anyone would be able to get what they were getting out of it.

"Just watch Dean." Dean watched as Jimmy stopped playing, he could see a few tears trailing down his cheeks as Cas continued to play quietly, Cas had opened his eyes and were fixed over in the direction Jimmy was sitting. Gabriel sighed and whispered, "He's forgiving him. If you just listen Dean, you can hear it."

Dean tried, he really did, but he hadn't grown up in a musical family. His family forgave and apologized with pie and beer. Cas stopped playing suddenly, pushed away from the piano and whispered, "Jimmy."

Jimmy stood up and headed for Cas and pulled him into a hug, their foreheads pressed together, " _Cas_."

They stood silently for a few minutes, foreheads pressed together, an occasional tear slipping down their cheeks. Finally, Jimmy let out a long sigh that sounded almost relieved and whispered, "God, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Jimmy." Cas wrapped his arms tighter around Jimmy and buried his face against Jimmy's neck while Jimmy buried his nose in Cas' hair. They both let out sighs then, to Dean it sounded like someone coming home after a long time away, like falling into your own bed for the first time in months. A long deep sigh that was pure relief and happiness. Dean fidgeted from where he stood beside Gabriel, it was such an intimate moment he felt like he was spying on them, like he was witnessing something that he shouldn't be.

Gabriel nudged Dean and whispered, "Why don't you help me clean up the kitchen? Let them reconnect." Dean nodded and followed Gabriel into the kitchen, only looking over his shoulder once to make sure Cas would be okay, judging from the way he was clinging to his twin he would be.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean watched as Cas shifted a little, coming out of his light doze as Dean ran his fingers down his side, "Don't tell me you're already up for another round Dean. Think I'm a little worn out."

Dean chuckled, shifted closer until Cas' head was tucked up under his chin, he stroked his fingers down Cas' back again, "Big day tomorrow."

"Which is probably why you should let me sleep. Don't want me falling asleep at the piano now do you?"

"Nope. I'd rather do other things to you on the piano."

"Dunno about that. You might break it. I don't want your fat ass breaking my piano."

"Hey! I resent that. Just a few minutes ago there were no complaints about my ass." Cas' hand snuck around and he palmed Dean's ass with a satisfied hum. Dean snorted, shook his head and pressed a kiss to the top of Cas' head. Even half-asleep Cas was pushy and an insufferable smart ass.

"Seriously Dean, I do need to get _some_ sleep."

Dean fell silent, content to just lie there all night despite being wide-awake and let Cas sleep, but he had to go and open his mouth.

"Hey Cas?"

Cas shifted, sighed and pressed his mouth to Dean's collarbone a sleepy, "Hmm?" being Dean's answer.

"The place where the concert is...it's near where Lucifer works isn't it?" He felt Cas tense up and pull away a little, brow furrowed.

"How would you know that?"

Uh-oh.

Dean hesitated and tried to bring Cas back in, "Pretty sure you told me Cas."

Cas remained stiff and pulled away from Dean's grasp again, frown tugging his lips down, "Pretty sure I didn't Dean."

Cas seemed to sense Dean's hesitation and narrowed his eyes, he poked at Dean's shoulder and asked, "What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Dean-"

"Cas, you're tired. Let's...talk in the morning okay?" Cas scowled at him and Dean tried to tug him back in to his body. Cas resisted for a moment but he finally inched back into Dean's space, tucking himself in along Dean's body with a sigh.

"We _will_ talk about it in the morning Dean. I'm not going to forget."

Dean really, really hoped Cas' memory failed by morning time, so he wouldn't have to deal with this.

Morning fortunately, didn't come for Dean. He was dragged out of his deep sleep by the sound of his phone beeping with an incoming call and Cas grouching at it from the vicinity of his chest.

After a quick conversation and stubbing his toe three times as he got dressed in the dark, he leaned over Cas, kissed his forehead and whispered, "Sorry Cas, gotta work."

Cas, being the morning person he was, rolled over, buried his head under a pillow and growled, "Fuck off." Dean slapped his ass which earned him a kick to the thigh and he let himself out of the apartment soon after.

Dean spent most of his day in the hospital, going back and forth between one guy and the other. Dean was pretty sick of listening to how the victim's boyfriend had beaten him, nearly putting him into a coma. The situation rang too close to home when he thought about Cas. Abusive gay couple, one taking advantage of the other. He wanted nothing more than to pull his phone out and call Cas, tell him he was sorry for being an ass and curling up somewhere so he could just enjoy the feel of Cas' warmth seeping into his bones.

Wouldn't happen though, since he was stuck in the hospital listening to excuse after excuse and Cas was probably busy getting ready for his performance and wouldn't been too keen on interruptions. Especially if they were of the Dean variety since Dean had bailed on him in the morning before they could talk, not that Dean could help it.

Later Dean found himself sitting at his desk, filling out paperwork and trying to ignore the fact that the abused boyfriend bore a striking resemblance to Cas, which just filled him with an even greater urge to see or call Cas. Sam had already sent him about fifty thousand texts reminding him not to be late, even his own mother had called and let him know Cas had invited her and his father, which Dean wasn't really looking forward to.

When six rolled around Dean threw his pen down in his desk and declared that he was leaving since he still had to shower and change and if he _was_ late, he'd never hear the end of it from Sam. Ever.

By seven Dean was seated uncomfortably between his father and Sam. So far, he and John were doing a good job at ignoring each other while Mary and Jess were chattering to each other as if there weren't three large men in between them all. Jimmy and Gabriel were seated in the row in front of Dean and Dean had a moment to wonder how many items he could stick in Gabriel's hair before the other man noticed.

Dean looked around that auditorium that was quickly filling up, the place was a lot bigger than he'd imagined and there were _a lot_ of people.

"I had no idea Cas was this well known." Dean muttered to Sam, watching as the balcony up above their heads slowly filled up.

"Because anything other than classic rock escapes your notice. You've been dating Cas for how many months now and you still don't know how famous he is?" Dean scowled at Sam's smirk and looked around again. He'd only thought Cas to be moderately well known, not... _international_ for crying out loud.

Heh...he was dating a celebrity.

Sam elbowed him and grumbled, "Mind out of the gutter Dean."

"You're just jealous I've been having sex with a celebrity Sammy."

"Ugh. Please shut up."

"And mind blowing sex at that! He does this thing where he-"

Sam clapped his hands over his ears and started humming what sounded like _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star_ , "Not listening."

"Well, your loss...you could use some sexual advice."

"My sex life is just fine."

"That's because Jess is the boss, not you." Sam elbowed Dean to get him to shut up and Dean did, snickering to himself as he turned his attention towards the stage, wondering if he'd be able to get a peek of Cas before the show started.

A petite blonde wandered out onto the stage, she adjusted a few things on the piano, said something to someone down in the orchestra pit and turned to head off stage. Dean didn't miss the way Jimmy had perked up in front of him and had watched everything with a small smile on his face. Gabriel snickered and turned around and whispered to Dean, "Jimmy's found his soul mate."

Jimmy glared over at Gabriel, "Have not! She's just...she's...cute is all."

"He was totally fawning all over her earlier when we were backstage, kept bugging Cas about information. Kept telling me he was gonna marry her and everything. Doesn't even know her name!"

"You're full of shit Gabriel!" Jimmy growled, hitting Gabriel over the head with his program.

"Actually, I went to the bathroom before coming here. So no shit in this incredible body of mine."

"You're disgusting."

"You're the one who brought it up."

"I don't know why I even try..." Jimmy mumbled, sinking down into his seat, pretending that he didn't even know Gabriel.

"I think it's because of that time I dropped you on your head when you were a baby...or was it Cas? Huh...hard to tell, since you're both pretty much the same."

"You what?"

"What? It's not like it's my fault...you were one heavy baby and wouldn't stop squirming."

"I have no idea how we're possibly related..."

"Jimmy, do I have to have the talk of the birds and the bees with you again?" Sam and Dean exchanged glances and Dean settled back in his seat, enjoying the show. They were more entertaining than the times he found something good to tease Sam about, all he needed was some popcorn and he'd be set.

"God, please no. One time was more than enough. I don't want to hear what you're up to at night."

"It's not just at night, you know? This baby is up for sex any time of the day."

"We're in public Gabriel. Please stop talking."

"Oh, come on...if you want to get that blonde you're going to have to do something about it. Not blush like you're a catholic school girl."

"I'd rather get my advice from _Cas_ at this point."

"Well, unless you're turning gay I'm sure they wouldn't be much help...but we can always check with Dean."

Dean leaned forward and said, "Hey, Cas has got some moves that would put any straight man to shame." Both Jimmy and Sam covered their ears with their hands. Jimmy shaking his head in denial and Sam humming his stupid song again.

"Yeah, but then Jimmy wouldn't know what to do with her boobs. It's not like you have a pair of those." Gabriel turned his focus back to Dean with a grin.

Dean shrugged, leaned back in his seat again, "Pretty sure it's natural. I think Jimmy has _some_ experience anyway."

"Assholes. The both of you." Jimmy grumbled, sinking down into his seat again and pretending to find the program a very interesting read.

"Then again I might be wrong...guess you were protecting the wrong twin's innocence, Gabe."

"I'm starting to believe you're right buck-o. Maybe we should get together and give our baby brothers some sexual advice...they're so puritan I bet their girlfriends have to do all the work."

Jimmy turned around and hissed to Sam, " _Do something_. We cannot allow this continue! The world is crumbling apart! These two together will bring about the Apocalypse!"

Jess grinned around Sam and said, "I'll have you know Dean that I've already taught Sam very well. Though I admit he was a bit...clueless at first."

Sam covered his face with his hands and whined out, "Jess..."

"Oh! Betrayed!" Gabriel crowed from in front of them while Jess carried on, "Don't worry sweetie, you're much better now. And you made up for it with the size of your-" Sam clapped a hand over her mouth and shook his head.

"No talking about _it_ with my brother and in front of my parents."

Jess batted Sam's hand away and grinned again, "Why not? It's perfectly natural...unless you account for its size, because the whole deal about being proportional to one's height is definitely true."

Dean snickered as they all turned from looking at Sam to looking at Gabriel who scoffed and crossed his arms, "Hey! I resent that. I may be short, but I'll have you know junior is everything but-" Jimmy cut Gabriel off mid-rant with an elbow to his side.

Then to Dean's horror Mary leaned around John and said, grinning, "You boys are _adorable_."

They all fell silent in their horror that Dean's _mother_ had heard every part of their conversation and Dean wondered about the best way to go about scouring his brain.

"Don't stop on my account. How do you two think you came to be here? My name may be Mary, but there was no holy spirit in your conception. Just John's special moves," Mary turned her grin to Sam, "If you need some sexual advice you might want to ask your father, he does this thing where I swear it feels just like heaven."

Sam made a sound like a wounded giraffe while Dean eyed his parents, contemplating death by shoving his fingers into his eyes, "Does? As in...still?"

"Of course. We're not dead you know. And your dad is a very, _very_ attractive man." Mary leaned up in her seat and planted one right on John's cheek. Beside him, Sam made another noise and Dean felt his stomach roll a little. John too even looked a little uncomfortable as he stared straight ahead, arms crossed over his chest.

There was a small smirk tugging at his mouth though when he said, "I think you're making the boys uncomfortable sweetheart."

"They're old enough to handle it. And _we_ Mr. Winchester are still young enough to have sex like a pair of horny teenagers." Dean was seriously considering just going outside and throwing himself in front of the next passing vehicle.

"Well Mrs. Winchester, you might just have to make due on your words when we get home." John smirked a little and Dean rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling, trying his hardest to ignore the sounds of kissing going on _right next to him_.

"Oh my _God_." Sam hissed from beside Dean. Dean grunted his agreement and kept his eyes trained on the ceiling. And then, finally, _thank God finally_ , the lights dimmed around them, announcing the beginning of the concert.

Jimmy turned around and whispered, "Oh, Dean! Cas wanted me to pass on a message for you if he didn't get a chance to see you beforehand."

"Okay." Dean leaned forward so he could hear Jimmy without Jimmy needing to be loud and disrupt the people around them.

"He said the third song he plays is your song, so pay attention." Dean nodded and sat back in his seat, heart jumping in his chest a little. He hadn't even known Cas had been working on his song, hadn't even been aware Cas was planning to play it tonight for thousands of people to hear and for Dean to hear it for the first time.

Cas walked out on stage then, smiling and waving a little as he headed for the piano. Dean felt a goofy smile spread across his face, personally, he was looking forward to the hours of listening to Cas play, his only regret being that it wasn't just the two of them and Dean wasn't up there on the stage with Cas.

Cas opened up with one of his 'generic' songs as Cas called it, something Dean had heard him play with his students all the time when he came to pick up Cas for lunch or to take him home. Dean still enjoyed the hell out of it though simply because it was Cas.

He saw Jimmy sit up a little straighter when the second song was his, Dean would never admit it but it was one of his favorites by Cas. When the third song came up, Dean found himself sitting up a little straighter so he could have a clear view of the stage and of Cas. He ignored Sam's snicker from beside and focused on how Cas hesitated a little, rolled his shoulders in a way that he did when he was nervous, Dean smiled to himself and listened as Cas began to play.

And Dean found himself really _listening_ this time, he recognized the jaunty little tune Cas had played for him before but he heard everything else Cas was 'saying' with the song. He never thought he'd be able to take Gabriel's advice to heart and just listen and be able to hear the deeper meaning to the song, but right now, he did.

He heard Cas' love for him in the quicker notes, his joy in the slower, heard the appreciation for Dean's sense of humor in that jaunty bit that kept popping up. He heard it all, heard how Cas understood him, how he accepted Dean's flaws and found pleasure in the simple little things they did together. Dean was amazed at how well Cas could represent a person with a few notes and a melody, he'd forever appreciate Cas' talent and damn how Dean loved him in that moment.

As the song came to its end, Dean cleared his throat to fight the tightness that was building up in his chest and shot an anticipatory glare over at Sam but found his brother giving him a small smile instead. Sam patted his arm and whispered, "He really loves you Dean."

"Yeah...he does." Dean took a deep breath and turned his attention back to the stage. Struggling with the idea of someone loving him so much after such a short amount of time, but he knew Cas did love him. Knew that he loved Cas in return and right now all he wanted to do was listen to that song over and over again and just keep Cas close to his side for as long as possible.

In the silence between songs Dean whispered to Sam, "I'm gonna marry that man someday Sammy."

Sam choked on nothing but his spit apparently, then shot Dean a wide grin, "Well, it is legal in New York now."

"Even if it wasn't, I'm sure your geeky self would find a way to legalize it." Sam snorted and grinned over at Dean, "Yeah. Just so I wouldn't have to hear you whine."

"I think it's time you face that you're the whiner of the family Samantha." Sam snorted again but patted at Dean's arm in the darkness, letting Dean know that Sam was happy for him.

Jess leaned around Sam to glare at the two of them, "Shh. Some people actually came here for the music, not to ogle at Cas. Though I have to admit that with his looks he is very nice to look at."

Sam turned and stared at Jess while in front of them Jimmy snickered. Dean leaned forward far enough to glare at her, "Don't worry Dean, Sam is all I need." She leaned over and kissed Sam while Dean grunted out a, "Better be. Cas is _mine_."

They all fell back into silence when Gabriel turned around and shushed them as a new song started playing, "This is my song! If you guys want to chat go outside! I want to listen!" Dean kicked the back of his chair in retaliation but nothing more was said and they all listened.

Just like Gabriel, the song was a bit on the mischievous side, but there was a hint of sadness to it that had Dean wondering. He eyed the back of Gabriel's bowed head for a moment when Jimmy leaned over and whispered something to Gabriel. Dean frowned a little, curious as to what Gabriel could possibly be hiding since he shared _everything_ with anyone who would listen. Now wasn't the time to be asking questions though, he didn't want to get kicked out before the end of the show, so he turned his attention back to Cas on stage. He wished he was closer so he'd be able to see Cas' face as he played, he loved seeing the joy Cas experienced while playing. Plus watching Cas' hands move across the keys was always a bonus.

The next few hours passed surprisingly quickly. There was an intermission somewhere in there that Dean hardly remembered, too caught up in thinking about Cas and his music. By the end, all Dean wanted to do was see Cas, hug him and be able to kiss him and tell him how amazing he was, inside and out.

Thankfully, Jimmy seemed to sense Dean's urgency and led him backstage without comment. When he spotted that head of perpetually messy hair he shouted, "Cas!"

Cas turned at Dean's voice, a grin forming, "Dean! You made it."

"Of course I made it doofus. Wouldn't miss this for anything." Cas hummed and leaned into Dean's embrace when Dean pulled him into a hug. Cas was vibrating with the energy left over from his performance, his eyes were bright and cheeks flushed, Dean wanted nothing more than to take him home and have his way with him.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Hell yes. You were amazing Cas."

Cas pulled away a little, plucking nervously at a button on Dean's shirt, "What did you think of your song?"

Dean smiled and pulled him back into another hug, "I love you too Cas." Cas' grin, surprisingly, got wider.

"You heard."

"'Course I did, had some pointers on how to listen." Cas smiled again, then poked at Dean's chest, "I played our song too."

"We have a song?"

"Of course we do. I pull inspiration from everything and everyone around me."

"Huh...well, I think I got lost in your awesomeness Cas, I didn't hear that one." Cas shrugged a little, winked up at Dean, "I'll give you a private performance later."

"I look forward to it."

Jimmy took that moment to shove himself up under Dean's arm with a, "Stop hogging my brother for crying out loud." Dean rolled his eyes and backed off enough for Jimmy and Cas to hug and for Jimmy to tell Cas how amazing he was. Dean would be shocked if Cas didn't get a big ego after all this praise. Then again...how much bigger could it get?

Cas talked to Jimmy for another minute then paused and smiled when the blonde Jimmy had perked up at earlier approached. Jimmy, as Dean had figured he would, froze.

Cas smirked a little, "Amelia this is my brother Jimmy. Jimmy this is Amelia, she teaches in the strings department. Mainly violin and cello." Cas did a not so subtle elbow nudge into Jimmy's side.

Dean hid his laugh behind a cough as Jimmy jumped, blinked and turned a brilliant red, "It's um...nice to uh...nice to meet you."

Amelia smiled and they shook hands before they fell into an awkward silence. Dean was trying his hardest not to grin at Jimmy's awkward stumbling and fidgeting.

Finally, Cas sighed and blurted, "Pity's sake Jimmy. Amelia, Jimmy would love to go out with you sometime. Coffee?"

" _Castiel_."

"What? I'm doing you a damn favor. Don't get pissy with me just because you're acting like an awkward virgin." Dean burst out laughing while Jimmy looked like he wanted to go and hide in the nearest hole.

Amelia laughed and looped her arm through Jimmy's, "I'd love to. Want to go now?"

"Right now?"

"Isn't that the definition of the word?"

"I can see why you're friends with Cas." Jimmy mumbled, Cas beamed and Amelia laughed as they turned the corner and out of sight.

"Sounds like Jimmy's going to have his hands full with her."

Cas snorted and tugged Dean down the hallway, "She's exactly what he needs. Besides, he should be used to it by now."

"I'm sure."

"And what do you mean by that?"

Cas glared up at Dean as they paused by a room and Cas disappeared inside, coming back out with Faith. Dean shrugged when Cas was back at his side, glare still firmly in place. Not wanting to piss him off Dean muttered, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." If Sam knew anything about this Dean would never hear the end of it.

Cas grinned and have a satisfied nod, "Thought so. Now, don't think that I've forgotten about last night."

Well... _shit_.

"I haven't either. The sex was pretty awesome, wasn't it? Even for us." Cas' glare was back, as if he could sense Dean's shit eating grin. Dean fidgeted a little, hoping Cas didn't pick up on it. This was something he really didn't want to talk about. At all. Ever.

Cas was going to be pissed at him either way.

" _Dean._ "

"I might have..." They stopped walking and he turned until he was facing Cas, he cleared his throat and noticed Cas was slowly losing his patience so he blurted out, "Uh...looked into your police file?"

"You _what_?"

"It was before you told me about Lucifer. I was just looking at the report for the accident when I saw there was more, so I...may have looked."

"May have?"

"So I read it."

"Oh, is that so?" Cas wasn't yelling. Dean knew that wasn't a good thing either. The calmer Cas got right now the angrier he was getting. Yeah, Dean knew he was in deep shit now.

"Did you ever think about actually asking me?"

"I didn't want to upset you..."

"Brilliant idea Winchester," And _ouch_ , there was the last name usage, "Because _this_ isn't upsetting me in the _slightest_."

Dean was silent, not sure what to say.

Cas took a deep breath, "You already _knew_ everything when I told you about him. And it didn't occur to you to tell me?"

"It didn't seem like the right time." Dean muttered, trying and failing to come up with a good reason by the look Cas was sporting now.

"Really now? And exactly _when_ would be the right time? Or would there ever _be_ a right time?"

Dean put his hand on Cas' shoulder, trying to either calm him down or pull him into a hug, he wasn't sure. Cas shook him off though, glaring up at Dean as Dean whispered, "Cas...please...I didn't mean anything by it..."

"No? Because from where I'm standing, I trusted you enough to tell you about my past even though it hurt me to even remember it...but you didn't trust me enough to wait for me to tell you about it."

"It's not like that, Cas."

"Isn't it? Because I think it is..." Dean remained silent, not sure how to explain himself. Not sure how to tell Cas he'd only looked because he was curious and he wanted to protect him. Wanted to keep him safe.

"I'm going to take a cab home. You're not welcome there anymore. I expect you to at least respect my wishes, even though you obviously couldn't respect me."

"Cas, wait!" Dean grabbed at Cas' arm, only to be shaken off.

Cas took a few steps back, clutched Faith's harness tighter and took a deep breath, "Dean...just...not right now. I need some time to think and I can't do that with you around me." Cas sounded so _broken_ that it broke Dean a little too. He reached for Cas again, but stopped, simply standing there with his hand held out as Cas took another deep breath and turned and walked away. Faith, instead of Dean, leading him towards the exit and to the cab that would take him home.

Dean couldn't help but think he'd just fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He didn't know how to fix it either.


	11. Chapter 11

When Castiel woke up, he had no actual recollection of falling asleep. Which probably should have been his first clue. The bed didn't feel like his bed, didn't smell like his room either. He despised being blind in moments like this.

"Hello Castiel." Castiel froze, he knew that voice, would recognize it anywhere just like he would recognize Dean's.

He heard the sound of a door closing somewhere off to his left and made a mental note of it, just in case. The bed by his hip dipped down and Castiel struggled to sit upright, but his limbs refused to cooperate and he probably ended up looking like a baby giraffe flailing around. He settled with his back to the person behind him and whispered, "Lucifer."

"Good. It's nice to know you haven't forgotten about me, amidst all your whoring."

Castiel snorted and growled, "I'm not a whore."

"Really now? So do you mind telling me what you call sleeping with one Dean Winchester?" Castiel felt his insides turn to ice, Lucifer knowing about Dean...probably the worst thing that could happen.

Lucifer chuckled from behind him and Castiel flinched away when he felt a cold hand rest against his back, "Oh yes...I know all about your dirty little secret. You should have known better Castiel. Did you actually believe you had gotten rid of me?"

Lucifer rolled Castiel over, rested a hand on his cheek and whispered, "Poor little Castiel...but don't worry. I'm going to take care of you."

Castiel jerked away from that cold hand, he remembered Lucifer had always felt so cold to him, cold hands, and cold feet, "Get your hands off of me!" Lucifer chuckled, forced Castiel back onto his back and Castiel knew that fist was coming for his stomach; Lucifer always went for the stomach.

"See what you make me do?" Lucifer sighed, stroking Castiel's cheek as Castiel wheezed for breath, "Guess I'll just have to teach you your place again."

Castiel glared at where he hoped Lucifer's face was and growled, "I'm not your pet."

Lucifer's hand rested against his throat, thumb idly stroking Castiel's jawline before squeezing, "No. You're not a pet." Castiel gasped for air and Lucifer tightened his hold, "But you _are_ mine. And don't you _ever_ forget it."

Lucifer released him as somewhere a phone began to ring. Lucifer sighed, brushed the hair from Castiel's forehead, "I have some business to attend to. I'll be back shortly." Castiel listened, fighting down his coughs so he could count the footsteps Lucifer took to the door.

If he was in Lucifer's apartment like he thought he was, he had a vague memory of the layout and all Castiel wanted to do was get the hell out of here. Hopefully someone would miss him, he had no idea how long he had been out, what time it was now or _where_ he was. Hopefully it had been long enough for Jimmy to finish his date with Amelia or for Dean to... _Dean_.

He'd left Dean, told Dean to stay away, now it seemed so stupid a reason to be angry. All he wanted was Dean; Dean would know what to do. Hell Dean wouldn't have _let_ this happen.

"Shit." He rolled, planning to get to his feet and get out of here. If anything his old times with Lucifer had taught him he was no one's bitch and he wasn't about to be Lucifer's. Not when he had Dean now, not when he was actually _happy_ for the first time in years. He rolled again, not expecting the edge of the bed to be there so soon and he went down on the floor with a thud and a grunt.

He listened for Lucifer and when he didn't hear him coming back he got to his hands and knees, he felt so _weak_ , he'd probably been drugged with something, which would explain why he couldn't remember shit. He grabbed the edge of the bed and hauled himself upright, legs shaking and breath rushing out of him in harsh pants.

"C'mon Cas, get your shit together. This...this is nothin'." He shuffled along the edge of the bed until he reached the corner, turned and edged along until he felt the bed end. With a deep breath, he removed his hands from the bed and inched forward, hands splayed out in front of him to keep from running into anything.

It certainly brought back memories from when he'd first lost his vision, shuffling around rooms, hands searching for him as his feet found every obstacle made by man. His poor pinky toe would never be the same.

He took another few steps, hoping he was heading in the general direction of the door. He knew it was to his left and Lucifer had taken about ten steps, Cas' shuffling didn't equate to an actual step, but he'd probably moved about half that distance.

Then, as was only natural, Castiel's shin found the one object at shin height to slam into. He cursed, lost his balance and went toppling forward; his elbow hit the...tabletop? Who the _hell_ put a table in the bedroom anyway?

Oh but he remembered this table, with its glass top and heavy metal legs. Whenever he'd come to Lucifer's apartment it had always been moved around so Castiel never knew where the damn thing was and was always to Lucifer's great enjoyment that he always slammed into it in the middle of the night when he needed to pee.

Said tabletop was currently shattering underneath his weight, making him about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. Castiel cursed and pushed himself back up to his hands and knees, ignoring the pain of glass cutting into his palms and knees. He could hear Lucifer coming back, probably to investigate the noise, it was the last thing Castiel wanted right now.

"Shit. Fuck. Ass... _damnit_." Castiel sat back on his heels, grasping one of the larger shards in his hand as the door opened; he refused to be helpless and caught off guard with Lucifer again. He may be blind but he could still lash out like the best of them and if he could catch Lucifer off guard with his makeshift knife, all the better.

"Going somewhere Castiel?"

Bastard sounded like he was _laughing_. Castiel scowled and grumbled, "You can't keep me here."

"I beg to differ." Castiel heard the door click shut, and nothing more. Lucifer was probably wearing socks, which when paired with carpet; Castiel wouldn't be able to hear him moving. Lucifer knew what to do to keep himself from being heard by Castiel, he'd always enjoyed sneaking up on Castiel at some point.

"You're here already, aren't you?" Lucifer's voice came to him from behind and to the right. He hated Lucifer's fucking mind games.

"Not of my own free will." Castiel snapped, wishing he could _hear_.

"Your will is my will. You should have understood that by now...but don't worry Castiel. No one expects you to think." Lucifer's voice came from directly behind him, voice coming from low down, around Castiel's shoulder. Castiel jerked away, startled but he gripped his shard of glass and spun around on his knees, hoping he at least hit _something_.

Like...a major artery for instance. Maybe gouge out an eye. Castiel wasn't picky.

He felt his hand and the tip of the shard connect with something; he heard Lucifer hiss at the unexpected pain and Castiel guessed he'd managed a cut somewhere on his face, nothing major. Just his luck.

There was a long silence in which Castiel tensed then Lucifer growled out, "You little whore."

Castiel scowled and swung his hand again, Lucifer caught his wrist though and Castiel, still weak from whatever drug Lucifer had gotten him with, was easily overpowered when Lucifer wrenched his hand open.

Lucifer grabbed the front of Castiel's shirt and pulled him up to his feet; they shuffled back until Castiel felt the back of his knees hit the bed, "So this is how you want to play, huh?" He was shoved back onto the bed, Lucifer's body covering his own before he could even think to roll away.

"Get _off_." Castiel growled, shoving at Lucifer's chest, Lucifer only chuckled, caught Castiel's hands in one of his own and pinned them down above Castiel's head. Castiel bucked up, trying to dislodge Lucifer's greater weight, but whatever drug had been used was doing a damn fine job at keeping Castiel weak and unable to do much.

"You always did like it rough, didn't you _Castiel_? And a good host _always_ pleases his guests, isn't that right?"

Castiel's breath caught in his throat, and he fought against Lucifer again, he was not going to let this end up where he thought it was going to end up, "I'm not your guest! I'm your fucking prisoner!"

"Be quiet!"

"Then stop asking stupid questions!" Castiel snapped.

Lucifer growled and Castiel felt a sharp stinging pain against his cheek, son of a bitch had _cut him_. He felt the glass shard he himself had used press against his cheek, "How does that feel?" Lucifer asked quietly, another line of pain dragged along his cheek, underneath the first one.

Castiel took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut before whispering, "It tickled."

He heard Lucifer sigh and Castiel felt the buttons on his shirt slowly being undone. Castiel squirmed and tried to pull away when he felt the glass against his chest, Castiel shivered as it was trailed around before finally grimacing when it felt that now familiar sting, letting him know he'd just been cut again.

"You asked for that Castiel." Lucifer whispered as Castiel felt the glass dig sharply into the flesh of his stomach. He grimaced and squirmed again, he had no idea what to do, he was too weak and out of it to be able to do much against Lucifer right now, not that he'd be able to do much in the first place, being blind and all.

Lucifer sighed, lips brushing against Castiel's, "Why do you continuously force my hand?"

Castiel winced and turned his head away from Lucifer's, grunting out, "Why are you always such an assbutt?"

Lucifer's fist connected with Castiel's uncut cheek, Castiel winced, refusing to cry out, that would end up being a lovely bruise, "If only you would stop fighting me it would be so much easier Castiel."

"Yeah...maybe for you." Castiel muttered, trying to wiggle away again.

Lucifer hummed thoughtfully against Castiel's neck and spoke as if Castiel were a _child_ , "I can see we're not going anywhere tonight." If it were up to Castiel, they would be going nowhere every time. Castiel felt Lucifer shift, heard the sound of a drawer being opened and shut and the sleeve on his right arm being rolled up.

Castiel panicked when he felt the prick of a needle in the crook of his elbow, he struggled anew, trying to kick Lucifer off him, but Lucifer simply chuckled and ran his fingers through Castiel's hair.

"What did you just give to me, you bastard?"

Castiel felt Lucifer's hand move down to his stomach, felt a finger press against the cut there, which well... _hurt_ and Castiel twisted, trying to get _away_ , but Lucifer wasn't going anywhere, "Now, now Castiel...mind your language."

" _Fuck_ did you do?" Castiel slurred, his limbs felt heavy and his mind foggy. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't get his thoughts together long enough to get his limbs to coordinate, "Just something to keep you...pliant. But don't you worry. I'll take care of you."

Castiel groaned and shook his head, his arm flopped uselessly when he told it to move, he tried to yell, tried to do _something_ but his mind was sinking further and further into nothingness and Castiel couldn't do a damn thing about it.

~~\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

When Castiel next woke his head was still fuzzy and it felt like his mouth was stuffed full of cotton balls. He licked his dry lips, shifted a little to stretch out his aching limbs. He could almost believe he was back in bed with Dean, but the bed was all wrong and the body next to him wasn't Dean's familiar bulk and warmth.

Too thin, too cold, "Lucifer."

"Nice of you to rejoin the waking world."

Castiel merely grunted, still too out of it to be able to come up with a snarky comment that would make Gabriel proud. He felt Lucifer's cool hand come to rest on his hip and Castiel tried to worm away, not caring if he was right on the edge of the bed and would go tumbling off again. He just wanted away from Lucifer. Lucifer's grip tightened and Castiel was pulled back until Lucifer's chest was pressed to his back, Castiel grimaced and once again tried to pull away.

"Now, now Castiel. We wouldn't want you to fall out of the bed and hurt yourself, would we?"

"Why do you keep asking stupid questions?" Castiel growled, wiggling enough to be able to slip out Lucifer's hold. Sadly, it had him ending up on his stomach, which was not a position he wanted to be in around Lucifer. Castiel moved to roll again, hopefully he _would_ fall off the damn bed, but Lucifer was quicker. A knee was shoved into the small of his back, a fist punched into a kidney and when Castiel tried to curl up away from the pain Lucifer hauled him upright with a growl of his own.

"You impertinent little shit," Lucifer shook him hard enough for his head to snap back and thunk against the headboard, "You will _behave_."

"I am not your _pet_." Castiel snapped, weakly shoving at Lucifer. God, Castiel hated being so damn _weak_ , whatever Lucifer had injected him with was doing a damn fine job of keeping Castiel unable to do anything. Which was just downright annoying.

"If you were I would have put you down long ago," Lucifer gripped his chin, forcing his head back up from where it had flopped down against his shoulder, too tired and dizzy to hold it up himself any longer, "As it is, that is actually a standing possibility. You've become far too...willful." Castiel shivered at the words, felt Lucifer's thumb stroke along his bottom lip, felt Lucifer's breath against his cheek and tried to jerk away.

"Don't worry Castiel. I have wasted far too much time on you to give up so soon. You _will_ break." Lucifer whispered quietly.

Castiel felt his lips at his temple, tried to wiggle away again and snapped, "Go fuck yourself."

Castiel knew immediately that was probably the wrong thing to say when he felt Lucifer smile against his temple, "I'm actually counting on you to help me with that," Castiel squirmed when he felt fingers trail lightly down his sides and to the waistband of his pants, "Unlike you though, I haven't forgotten my manners. I hope you're hungry because the chef truly outdid himself today."

Lucifer shifted off the bed and away from Castiel, Castiel immediately pulled himself up onto his knees and ignoring the various aches in his body started moving for where he hoped the edge of the bed would be. He heard the clank of something being set down on a table nearby and then Lucifer's hand was in the middle of his chest, pushing him back down onto the bed without saying a word.

Castiel had never truly _hated_ being blind, had accepted his new fate with surprising ease and had moved on. He saw no point in fighting something that couldn't be changed, if it was how he was meant to be then so be it. Now though, he'd never hated his loss of sight more, hated not being able to see what Lucifer was doing, if he'd only been able to _see_ he wouldn't be in this damn situation in the first place.

Castiel sat frozen where Lucifer had pushed him down, listening to the quiet clink of silverware brushing against each other, some kind of liquid sloshing. Castiel jumped when he felt the mattress beside him dip down, jerked his head away when a spoon was pressed against his lips.

Lucifer's hand came up and gripped the back of his neck, keeping his head in place as the spoon pushed at his lips again which Castiel refused to open, "Don't act like a spoiled toddler, Castiel."

Castiel refrained from opening his mouth to retort and simply shook his head as much as he could, feeling the liquid spill down over his chin. Lucifer sighed, the spoon was pulled away and whatever had spilled was roughly wiped away.

Lucifer was silent for a moment, then he moved so he was in front of Castiel, hands on his cheeks, "Since you don't seem interested in eating, I'm sure we can go directly to the _dessert._ " Castiel hesitated when he heard the tone of voice Lucifer was using; it never meant good things when he sounded like that.

Lucifer used Castiel's hesitation to shove him down onto the bed, using the slightly heavier bulk of his body to hold Castiel down.

Fighting the urge to freeze up and lock himself away in his mind, Castiel growled, bucked up against Lucifer and shoved at him, "Stop it. Get off of me you bastard."

Lucifer chuckled, grabbed hold of Castiel's wrists and pinned them up above his head, "Come on Castiel. There's no need to pretend. We both know you want it, you little whore."

"What I want is for you to get the _fuck_ off of me." Castiel snapped, voice rising in volume as he kept up his struggling. It was infuriating how weak he still was, how easy it was for Lucifer to hold his hands above his head with one hand as the other trailed down Castiel's body and shoved at the waistband of his pants.

"Oh, my sweet Castiel. For there to be fucking this is how it has to be." Castiel shook his head, breath hitching and catching in his throat in his panic. He clamped his legs shut, trying to make it as hard as possible for the sick bastard.

"Get _off_ you sick-" Lucifer's lips covered his, cutting off the panicked tirade Castiel was aiming to fall into. Castiel grunted, squirmed and bit down on Lucifer's lip. There was the brief taste of blood, Lucifer growling and slapping Castiel so hard it left Castiel in a daze long enough for him to be flipped over.

Castiel's pants and underwear were stripped off in one quick motion, Lucifer's knees pushing Castiel's thighs apart before he could even think to do anything. Castiel froze when he felt a hand at his hip and another ghosting over his ass, he clawed at the blankets, trying to pull himself up and away from Lucifer, " _No_."

"You can't escape me Castiel. You're _mine_!"

"I'm not yours. I'll _never_ be yours. I am and always will be Dean's." Castiel snapped, Lucifer used the grip he had on Castiel's hip to haul him back, and Castiel began his struggle anew when he felt Lucifer's hardness pressing against him.

"Fucking _whore_!" Lucifer shoved Castiel down, hands wrapped around the back of Castiel's neck, fingers digging in underneath his jaw making it difficult for Castiel to draw in air. Castiel bucked back against Lucifer, trying to dislodge him but Lucifer used his weight to press Castiel down.

The fingers around his neck tightened, his face was pushed further into a pillow and Castiel's already weak struggles grew weaker, Lucifer's body growing heavier on top of his own.

This wasn't how he wanted to die; he still had things to do. He wanted to be there when Jimmy finally manned up and married someone, hopefully Amelia. Wanted to see Gabriel settle, wanted to apologize to Dean for being so selfish and scared. Wanted to at least hear how Lucifer would hopefully die a painful death.

There was a crashing sound, it sounded so far away and Castiel was too tired to fight now. He stopped his struggling, heard shouting that sounded a lot like Dean, but it couldn't be Dean because he'd left Dean. Dean wouldn't be able to know where he was or what was going on.

It was nice though, hearing a familiar voice before he died, better than the thought of it being Lucifer sending him off.

The suffocating weight above him was removed, replaced by a gentle hand on his cheek, and a warm, familiar voice in his ear, "Cas?"

It couldn't be Dean, Dean wouldn't be here. Wishful thinking was all this was.

His last conscious thought before the nothingness took him over was, _Dean_.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean sighed and leaned back in the chair he'd placed at the side of Castiel's bed. He glanced back up to make sure Cas was still sleeping before leaning forward again and taking his hand. All Dean could think of was how Cas had looked when he'd burst into that bedroom. Covered in bruises, naked and his mouth open to draw in the air he couldn't get, eyes beginning to roll up into his head.

Dean had never really felt so angry before, seeing Lucifer doing that to _his_ Cas damnit. It had taken every ounce of self-control he had to not shoot Lucifer there, but it wouldn't be taken over well with his boss if he did. So he'd let the other cops he'd come storming into the room with take care of Lucifer while he immediately went to Cas.

Dean was just glad Castiel was still alive, that he would be fine. Even if he might be fired or put on desk duty for a month because of the hell he'd raised to get the help he needed without any proof that it was Lucifer that had Cas or that Cas was missing in the first place.

He'd known though, as soon as he'd stepped off that elevator and seen Faith sitting by the apartment door. Knew that something was wrong with Cas because when Cas was alone he never went _anywhere_ without Faith. Dean was just glad he'd sucked up his pride and gone over there in the first place, intent on not letting Cas just _walk away_. That they could fix this and move on, that Cas would be able to forgive Dean and they could...hell he didn't know. Live happily ever after or whatever.

Dean had called Jimmy first, to make sure Cas wasn't with him, but Jimmy had still been out with Amelia and he hadn't heard from his brother in the couple of hours it'd been since the end of the show. Gabriel was next and he'd said the same thing. Dean had then let himself into the apartment with the spare key Jimmy had told him about only to find it empty and untouched, as it had been when Cas had left it earlier in the day.

So, with that unsettling heaviness settling into his gut Dean had gone to the precinct. Had looked up Lucifer's address and had raised hell to get a little backup, he was just glad Bobby had enough faith in him to give him a little something. More than a little glad, _supremely_ glad, as in he'd have to suck up to Bobby and buy him a case of the best whiskey in town when he'd seen what had been about to go down in Lucifer's bedroom.

Now Dean was seated in Cas' hospital room while Jimmy and Gabriel harassed the nurses for information. The doctor had said Cas would be fine, they just wanted to keep him overnight for observation and until they got the results back on the blood work to see what Cas had been drugged with. Just in case.

There was no major damage though, a few cuts that hadn't required stitches and some bruising. No broken bones and no sign of sexual assault (thank _God_ for small favors) but Dean knew there would be the emotional fallback to this. Knew Cas, even though he was a stubborn little shit and strong as hell, would be affected by this. Dean would be there though, as would Gabriel and Jimmy. Hell they'd probably never leave him alone after this, which would probably end up pissing Cas off.

The door opened behind him, admitting Gabriel and Jimmy into the room. They shut it quietly and came to stand beside Dean.

Gabriel looked down at Dean, then to Cas and asked quietly, "Any change?"

Dean shook his head and muttered, "No."

Jimmy sighed and placed a gentle hand on Dean's shoulder, squeezing lightly, "You need to rest Dean. I'll stay with Cas."

"No."

Gabriel stepped forward this time, eyeing Dean's hand where it was gripping Cas', "Come on bucko. I know you know more words than that."

"Fuck off."

"There you go," Dean glared up at Gabriel, wondering how the hell he'd be able to joke _now_ of all times, but Gabriel was watching Castiel with worry in his eyes and a deep frown in place of his usual smile. Everyone had different ways to cope, joking and shoving it down with sugar was Gabriel's of course.

Gabriel smirked down at him, "That wasn't so hard was it?" Dean glared at him again and tightened his hold on Cas' hand. Silently daring them to get him away from Cas' side.

"Gabe." Jimmy whispered, removing his hand from Dean and placing it on Gabriel's shoulder, eyes wide and concerned.

Gabriel sighed, his shoulders slumped and he shot Jimmy a sad smile, "Why can I never protect those I love?"

"This isn't your fault Gabe," Jimmy said gently, squeezing Gabriel's shoulder when Gabriel shot him a look of pure devastation that left Dean confused, "And neither was Michael." Gabriel flinched and tried to move away, but Jimmy held onto his shoulder.

Gabriel sighed and lowed his gaze to the floor, "I should have noticed what was going on. He was my best friend and I...I just didn't see it," his breath hitched and he carried on, looking up to Cas, "Just like I didn't see when Cas needed me."

"There's no way you could have known Gabe. You look out for us. You always did, in your insane trickster way," Jimmy gave him a weak smile, "You need to stop blaming yourself for everything bad that happens."

"But it is my fault. All of it."

Jimmy rolled his eyes, shook Gabriel a little by his shoulder, "Pray tell."

"I was the one who let you borrow the car-"

"Bullshit!" Jimmy snapped, glaring at Gabriel hard enough for Gabriel's gaze to snap up and focus on Jimmy, "You know if you hadn't let us, we would have found a way to take it anyway."

"I didn't pick up when Michael called me."

"You had a temperature of a hundred and five degrees. It's a miracle your brain didn't melt!" Jimmy cried, shaking Gabriel again before pausing and muttered, "Wait...that actually explains a lot..."

Gabriel snorted and shot Jimmy a small smile, "Smartass."

"Learned it from the best." Jimmy muttered, returning the smile.

Gabriel's smile disappeared and his gaze fell back to Cas before flicking back to Jimmy, "I didn't stop Lucifer from abusing Cas."

"Neither did I."

"Guess it's your time of the month, huh?" Cas suddenly croaked. Voice even more gravely than usual due to the bruises decorating his neck. Dean and the other two had jumped at the suddenness of Cas rejoining the waking world, all of them too caught up in what was currently being said.

"You should know it better than us, _Cassie_." Gabriel muttered, clearing his throat when his voice broke.

Cas coughed a few times, wincing and Dean was up and getting him a cup of water before anyone else could move. Cas smiled a little when Dean held the cup up to his lips and allowed him to drink in small sips.

"Thanks." Cas whispered, fingers brushing along Dean's when he leaned back in the bed. Dean set the cup aside and reached forward, brushing the back of his hand against Cas' cheek. Cas smiled again, leaned into the touch and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Come on Gabriel," Jimmy mumbled, shooting Dean a grin, "I can tell when we're not wanted."

"Speak for yourself. People want me _all_ the time." Gabriel grinned at Dean, his walls and mask firmly back in place as if nothing at all out of the ordinary had just happened. Dean's mind was burning with questions that he wanted more than anything to ask, but Gabriel and Jimmy let themselves out of the room and Dean had other concerns on his mind right now.

Dean smiled, leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Cas' lips and whispered, "Hey."

"Hey yourself," Cas mumbled, smiling slightly. Dean returned the smile and continued stroking Cas' bruised cheek with his thumb, just looking at Cas. Cas frowned when he felt Dean's eyes on him, shifting a little to sit up straighter, "Dean?"

"I thought I lost you." Dean mumbled, gripping Cas' hand tighter.

Cas returned the pressure and smiled, "You'll never lose me." Dean leaned forward again and kissed him once more, unable to stop himself. Just the thought of losing Cas left him feeling unsettled. Restless.

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

Cas smiled again, released Dean's hand and found the front of Dean's shirt with it, hauling him forward to press a messy and uncoordinated kiss to Dean's lips, "Does that answer your question?"

"Nope, I didn't quite get that." Cas smirked and pressed another kiss to Dean's mouth, this one about fifty times better than the one before it.

Dean sighed into Cas' mouth, brought his free hand up to Cas' other cheek and reluctantly pulled back, "Are you okay, Cas?" Cas' eyebrow went up; the unspoken _are you seriously asking me that question right now?_ clear. Dean snorted, moved his hands up into Cas' hair, "I know. Stupid question," Cas smirked again and Dean kissed that slight upturn of his lips, "Will you be okay, though?"

Cas was silent for a moment before taking Dean's hands from his face and pulling Dean forward until Dean had no option but to lie next to Cas on the small, cramped hospital bed. Cas shifted enough to make room for him then pressed up against Dean's side, his head coming to rest on Dean's chest above his heart.

Dean frowned down at the shock of messy, dark hair, "Cas?"

"Yes," Cas took a deep breath, nuzzling into Dean's chest a little before responding, "I think I will be." He lifted his head enough so Dean could see the small smile pulling his lips up. Dean nodded, content with that for now and they simply lay there together. Cas listening to Dean's heartbeat and Dean running a hand up and down Cas' back.

"Cas?"

A sleepy, "Hmm?" was Dean's answer and he almost didn't ask, wanting to let Cas get as much rest as he needed.

Cas shifted impatiently though and Dean's curiosity got the better of him, "Who's Michael?" Dean felt Cas stiffen a little and Dean had a moment to wonder if this was another asshole that had managed to hurt Cas, he remembered Gabriel's look though and knew it had nothing at all to do with Cas.

Cas relaxed a little and settled in against Dean's side once more before whispering, "He was Gabriel's best friend."

"Was?"

Cas sighed, one of his hands coming up to fiddle with the hem of Dean's shirt, "He killed himself."

Dean waited for Cas to carry on, but when he didn't Dena nudged him a little and asked, "Why?"

"Let's just say Michael could never live up to his father's standards. Though, to be fair, I don't think anyone possibly could...and when Michael came out to his parents they weren't nearly as accepting as mine." Cas sighed, hand pausing in its fidgeting while he gathered his thoughts, "He just couldn't handle it anymore. He called my brother, but Gabe was-"

"Sick."

"Yes. He caught pneumonia. We had to take him to the hospital and by the time he woke up it was already too late. Gabriel never forgave himself." Cas lifted his head from Dean's chest, eyes moving up to Dean's, bright and focused on nothing, "He's far more sensitive than he lets on."

"You worry for him." Dean muttered, it was more of a statement than anything else.

Cas nodded, head going back to rest on Dean's chest with a mumbled, "He's my brother." Like it explained everything. It really did, if Dean thought about it, because he was the same with Sam. He worried about his brother even though his brother could very well take care of himself.

Dean sighed, pulled Cas closer and whispered, "Yeah, he is."

He felt Cas smile against his chest and the two relaxed into the bed, Cas drifting off soon after.

Dean knew they'd be okay.


	13. Chapter 13

One Year Later

Dean glared at himself in the mirror, fought some more with his tie before he decided it was good enough and left the room to go find Cas.

He found his wayward boyfriend outside, Gabriel, Jimmy and Amelia standing around him. The sky was a bright, clear blue above them, there was a warm breeze and everything just seemed bright and happy. Dean grinned and wrapped his arms around Cas' waist from behind, causing the other man to jump a little then shoot a glare over his shoulder at Dean.

Dean kissed his cheek, in too good a mood to let anything at all bring him down. His little brother was getting married today, nothing could possibly go wrong.

"You finally get that tie figured out bucko?" Gabriel asked, grinning.

Dean scowled at him and snapped, "You scare off your date already?"

Cas elbowed him, but smiled anyway. Dean knew he was happy about his brother actually finding someone that would deal with Gabriel's shit. She had been one of the nurses that had taken care of Cas when he'd been in the hospital. Gabriel had instantly been smitten with her snarky, won't take any shit attitude. They'd been on a few dates, but nothing to extraordinarily serious until Gabriel had sucked it up and asked her to join him at Sam's wedding.

Cas turned around in Dean's arms, pushed him back a little and felt around Dean's neck before sighing and shaking his head. Dean frowned at him, then managed a, "Hey!" while Cas tugged his tie free.

"You're hopeless with these things." Cas muttered, tying it right and patting Dean's chest.

"You're lucky you don't have to wear a tux." Dean muttered, looking down at the now neat tie. Cas smirked at him, tugged at his own suit and tie, "I'm also not the best man."

"Yeah...well...whatever." Cas grinned up at him, pressed a quick kiss to his cheek while Sam shouted from behind him, "Dean! C'mon man! We need to get started!"

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. Sam, the gigantic girl he was had been freaking out all morning. Dean wanted nothing more than to just stay with Cas and enjoy the show from the sidelines, but his brother apparently needed him up there as well. Dean wasn't even going to get started on the horrors of having to write a damn speech and give it later.

Cas gave him a little push, "Go on."

"But Cas-" Dean used his best whiny voice, and moved back towards Cas, resting his head on Cas' shoulder.

Cas rolled his eyes, pushed Dean again, "Go on Dean."

"But-"

"If you go now I'll let you fuck me into the mattress later when we get home."

Dean blinked, shocked into silence. Even after a little more than a year together Cas still had the ability to shock Dean stupid when he said stuff like that.

"Can't we just do that now?" Dean muttered.

Cas rolled his eyes, shoved Dean again, "You're brother is getting married Dean. If you go now I'll make it drunk sex."

Dean sighed, acting incredibly put out instead of incredibly turned on, gave Cas another quick kiss before turning and marching his ass up the gentle slope of a hill to where Sam was still waiting impatiently.

"About time."

"Shut up and let's get you married Samantha."

Twenty minutes later and Sam was quietly freaking out. Dean was trying his best not to fidget and roll his eyes. This was his brother's wedding, he was supposed to be supportive, not eyeing his boyfriend out in the audience like he was a piece of meat.

"What if she changes her mind?" Sam whispered suddenly, drawing Dean's attention away from Cas who was talking quietly to John. John had finally gotten over himself a few months after Cas had gone through his ordeal with Lucifer. The two actually got along amazingly well and Mary loved to baby Cas like he wasn't a grown man. Dean was just happy everyone was getting along.

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam and whispered back, "She's put up with for about...what? Five years? If she hasn't dumped you yet, I'm sure she won't do it now."

"Is that supposed to be reassuring?" Sam grumbled, glaring at Dean.

Dean grinned and shrugged, "Hey! I've got to work with what you give me...not my fault I got all the good stuff of the family." Dean smirked and Sam rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to retort but stopped when the music started. Dean couldn't help but snort when Sam's eyes widened comically when Jess started heading towards them. He had to admit she looked absolutely beautiful, the sun brightening the white of the gown so it looked like it was glowing; the hills surrounding the farm Jess' parents owned were a bright green. Everything was just about perfect.

The rest of the wedding went off without a hitch. Dean grinned like an idiot when Jess and Sam kissed, he learned that Cas and Jimmy were the type of people that cried at weddings and Gabriel was the type to stand on his chair to clap and cheer when everything was finished.

And to think that maybe one day Dean and Gabriel would actually be family. It was an almost terrifying thought.

Dean met up with everyone else while Jess went to change her dress for the reception while Sam was enveloped in a hug by Mary and cried over and slapped on the back by everyone else. Cas looped his arm through Dean's, smiled up at him and said, "It sounded like a lovely ceremony."

"It was. It's a beautiful day Cas."

Cas' smile widened and he tilted his face up towards the sun, "I can tell." Dean kissed his cheek and led him over to their table while they waited for everyone else to get settled and for Jess to return. Jimmy, Amelia, Gabriel and Sarah joined them a few minutes later, Jimmy turning a brilliant red when Gabriel asked, "So when you are gonna tie the knot Jimmy?"

"Oh leave him alone Gabriel, we all know it will be Amelia who makes that decision." Cas said, grinning over at Jimmy.

"You can bite me Cassie."

"I'd rather bite Dean."

"Quit being such a fucking tease." Dean growled, poking Cas' side.

Cas chuckled and winked at Dean, "It would only be teasing if I didn't mean it." Dean rolled his eyes and scowled, warring with wanting the night to be over already so he could take Cas home or just dragging him into the bathrooms to have his way with him.

As if reading his mind Cas patted Dean's thigh, "Later."

The rest of the night passed by in a blur. Full of good music, good food, good booze and laughter. Dean ended up watching Cas through most of it, marveling at how lucky he'd gotten to have Cas in his life. After everything that had happened with Lucifer Dean was sure he'd lose Cas one way or the other. But Cas had proven he was a tough cookie and had worked through his issues with Dean's, Jimmy's and Gabriel's help. There was still the occasional nightmare, but ever since Dean had moved into the apartment with him they were few and far between.

Lucifer in the meantime, was enjoying his stay in prison for kidnapping and attempted murder. He hopefully wouldn't be out any time soon and if he was, Dean would take care of it.

When the time came to cut the cake, Dean was nicely buzzed on champagne and beer and he could tell Cas was well on his way a nice buzz as well. At least he was keeping up his end on the drunk sex deal.

Gabriel had hoarded a piece of cake that was nearly as big as the plate itself which he ended up reluctantly sharing with Sarah. While Dean ended up feeding a few pieces to Cas because apparently a cool night, glittering lights and romantic music turned him into a huge sap. Cas nearly objected to being fed, but his complaints were cut off when Dean licked some wayward frosting from his lips.

Then came time for the moment Dean dreaded most besides giving his best man speech, which he had barely made it through since Cas' fingers had kept wandering into his pocket.

Jess stepped up onto the makeshift stage, cheeks flushed and smile wide and bright, bouquet held high over her head.

Jess grinned out at the crowd and Dean had a sinking suspicion she had something planned. Cas was sitting quietly by his side, a small happy smile on his face while he listened to something Sarah was saying to Gabriel.

Jess shot Dean a wink, Dean frowned, then sighed and rolled his eyes when that bouquet came flying towards Cas. It thumped into Cas' chest who jumped and gasped in his shock, hands coming up to automatically grab whatever it was. He frowned when he felt what it was, then sighed and growled towards Jess who was clapping gleefully, "Really, Jess? _Really_?"

"You're next on the list Cas!"

"That's just a silly superstition." Cas mumbled, tuning and placing the bouquet on the table behind them. Dean felt himself blush, figured _what the hell_ and took Cas' hands in his own.

Cas frowned over at him, fingers tightening around Dean's while Dean cleared his throat, "Actually...Castiel Aiden Novak, will you marry me?"

Cas' eyes widened and his mouth fell open in shock. The rest of the room fell silent as all attention turned over to the two of them.

Cas' mouth closed, then opened again, "Wh-What?"

Dean felt his blush deepen and he tried to pull his hands away and maybe get up and run away. What the hell was he thinking, proposing? At his brother's wedding no less, but Cas had a death grip on his hands and refused to let go no matter how much Dean pulled.

Gabriel snorted from behind them and said, "Come on Cas. You're blind, not deaf. Marry. M-A-R-R-Y. It's not that hard." Sarah elbowed Gabriel hard enough for Gabriel to grunt and shoot her an innocent smile. Cas blinked finally, mouth clicking shut again.

"Cas?" Dean didn't think he'd ever been this nervous. What if Cas said no? What if he laughed and thought it was a joke? Dean was such a damn idiot; it was too soon for this. There was no way Cas would want to marry a nobody like Dean.

Cas took in a deep breath, gripped Dean's hand even tighter and whispered, "Yes."

Dean blinked, Cas cleared his throat and said loud enough for everyone listening to hear, " _Yes_ , you idiot."

Cas grinned, Dean grinned, Gabriel whooped loudly from behind them, Jimmy rolled his eyes and thunked his head down onto the table while Amelia whacked him upside the head for his actions. Cas' grin widened and he practically threw himself over onto Dean's lap. Dean grunted at the sudden weight, but he caught Cas around the waist and received a kiss that was best saved for the bedroom.

"You sure Cas?" Dean whispered when Cas pulled back a little.

Cas chuckled, kissed Dean again and muttered, "Don't ask stupid questions."

THE END


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